Forbidden affection
by Ikasul
Summary: What do you think when your whole image of yourself starts to crumble? What do you do when your feelings are not just debatable but utterly reprehensible. Tortured by the grief and guilt, Ran has to face these questions, to unravel whether she is ill or has gone crazy.
1. Chapter 1: Love

Chapter 1: Love

The sun was slowly setting and bathing the town of Beika in its last golden rays, enlightening the bold letters on the window glass, which read "Detective agency". However, the marvelous view was ruined by the girl on the couch, burying her face in a pillow, occasionally whimpering a small sob in the otherwise silent room.

She used to like these small moments, when she was alone at home and had time for her own small thoughts and troubles, searching for the simple answers on her mostly simple questions, like how she could bring her parents back together. Most of the time, these little plans wouldn't work out and only end in another quarrel between the still married, but physically separated couple. It always made her feel like she failed to meet her parents' expectation and it would usually fall to either Sonoko or Shinichi to cheer her up.

When Shinichi suddenly vanished and only periodically called to catch up on her life, while he kept completely shut about his own, Sonoko had to comfort Ran now even more. But even then, these lonely evenings where not something Ran despised. Despite her worries over her childhood friend and her parents, which started to pill themselves up, she still enjoyed these hours of solitude.

The moment when the soothing tranquillity changed to suffocating and overwhelming muteness was after she discover her new feelings for the boy. Despite all her efforts, she still couldn't pinpoint the moment in which her affection changed to the worse. If she would take a guess it would fall on the moment he openly declared his limitless love to her. At that time however, it sounded to her so innocent and natural that she didn't think much about it, but her mind nonetheless seemed to not only accept but even to return those prohibited sentiments. After this crucial moments her piece of mind was replaced by an utter chaos, revolving around their newly formed relationship.

At first, she vigorously rejected those small scenes her mind showed her in her dreams, but eventually it turned from defiance to consideration to painful awareness.

She could no longer deny these genuine feelings of love, she last felt for the now absent detective and that thought alone lets her drown in an ocean of grief, shame and disgust every time her brain reminds her of it.

"It is just wrong! Completely wrong!", she told herself again and again. "Besides he would never understand this!" But all her resistance, which she held up with an iron will, always reminding herself of moral and social norms, were slowly rusting away under the constant doubt she found herself having.

"What if it's true after all? What if he really does love me in the same way I do love him?"

Thoughts like that always started to rise from the depths of her mind when she had all her time for herself. Neither the TV, nor her homework, nor any book she could find in Shinichi's library could stop the images from appearing. Only the small boy, who currently had a slept over at Hakase's, or her dad, who was out playing mah-jong and drinking, who required her full attention, could effectively prevent her mind from torturing Ran with these forbidden images.

But at times like this she had no one to keep her busy. She had no choice but to listen to the whispering voices in her head, who promised her all the love and affection her innocent teen-self wanted.

In moments like these she again and again realized the horrible truth.

She was in love

In love with Conan.

* * *

 _This is the first chapter of my first fan-fiction, so I apologize for any spellings and grammar mistakes. Neither is English my native language nor am I especially gifted when it comes to writing._

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _For those of you who are anxious about how this story will develop, I can guarantee you that the closest sexual contact will be a normal kiss._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	2. Chapter 2: Hope

Chapter 2: Hope

When she recalled the face of the little boy, her face and mind would always light up. He was, on top of being freaking adorable, the smartest, nicest and best behaving boy she ever met. In a way he was a lot like Shinichi, however unlike the grade-schooler Shinichi used to be, Conan was not as timid.

It always surprised people to hear that the Great Detective of the East was rather shy in his childhood, but that was exactly why Shinichi didn't and still doesn't have that many friends. Unlike what most people think, he isn't seeing himself as unworthy of others company, but instead is unsure on how to approach them and is, on top of that, not one to trust others quickly, what had earned him the reputation of the prideful genius, a role he slowly began to adapt.

Conan on the other hand was openminded and always nice to everybody, what makes him a embodiment of what a good child should be like, save for his ability to get himself, sometimes willingly and sometimes unintentionally, in a lot of troubles.

But even then, he was quick to recover from whatever fate had done to him and was back to be the cheerful little boy he always was in no time. Always ready to help other, rescue injured animals and assist his friends with their homework, without taking the challenge of solving it away. Whenever the bespectacled grade-schooler was around, something would happen and no matter what it was, Conan would make sure that nothing bad could happen and everybody would arrive safe at home.

In moments like these, when her thoughts started to circle around her little brother, she caught herself thinking about the generic questions a girl in love would ask.

"What is he doing right now? Is he thinking of me? Should I call him?"

Whenever her mind went down this route, she would instantly stop herself before her thoughts entered the normally overly romantic but, in this case, entirely wrong sphere of physical craving for love.

Just imagining it, would cause an immediate urge to puke to well up inside of her, which she could only resist till she reached the toilet and slumped together in front of it, to let her last meal see the light of day again.

The thoughts itself were just sick!

And even though she could no longer deny the verity of her feeling, she still would see this love as something that shouldn't and couldn't exist, again dragging herself deeper into the swamp of her guilt.

For some time, she tried to explain her love as a sort of projection, where she would miss Shinichi that much that she would see Conan as his replacement. That was also the reason why she accused him of being Shinichi or at least that is what she told herself. As unsettling as this was, it seemed much worse to think of herself as one of these peoples.

A pedophile.

Ran really hated the word now, because it didn't only embody her biggest fear, but also the most probable reality. Shinichi always said, "When you eliminate the impossible whatever remains however improbable must be the truth.", but just this time, she desperately wished him to be wrong.

"Shinichi, … help me…"

The faint cry of help, which would normally be nearly unhearable, seemed to echo in the office with the strength of a bell's ringing.

The muttered words however, bore no weight.

Ran was simply not able to tell ANYBODY about her current situation, about her sickness.

It wouldn't just be very uncomfortable and embarrassing for her, but she dreaded the reaction of the others the most.

Who would want to be friend with a pedophile?

Who would even listen to one?

What would they think?

The instance Ran took her own feelings somewhat serious, she agreed with herself that this wasn't something she could tell anybody. Not just for her own sake, but also for the peace of mind of the others. Because even if they wouldn't resent her, they would worry a whole lot. Not over Ran, but over what she may would do.

What if she molested a child.

Unlike the usual cases Shinichi had, this was nothing she could burden others with. She would figure out what to do herself or break while trying.

And there were only two options she had, either ignore her feelings, lock them up and never release them again or try to fight them, try to prove their false motives.

She really must be going insane to think of her own feelings as some sort of culprit, but it helped her cope with it for now, because it gave her hope.

Hope, that she wasn't as twisted as she thought.

Hope, that she could be cured.

Hope that it wasn't true.

Just hope, in general.

* * *

 _This is the first chapter of my first fan-fiction, so I apologize for any spellings and grammar mistakes. Neither is English my native language nor am I especially gifted when it comes to writing._

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

Welcome back to my story, I'm glad that you came back.

I'm not a huge friend of walls of text over the, lets say, development of this story, but if you do want to know how I came up with the ideas and plot line, I could write a little bit about this after the story, so would you like to read that?

Last but not least, I do intend to finish this story and every other I will start in the future.

And that is all for today.

Farewell


	3. Chapter 3: Culprit

Chapter 3: Culprit

Ran knew she would need some sort of plan to figure out what was happening inside of her, however she had no practical experience with neither psychologists nor pedophiles. In fact, the only way she knew how to confirm a suspicion, was the detective way everybody around her seemed to use. Know that she thought of it, it seemed kind of strange that nearly everybody who is close to her is or has acted as a detective. But she didn't have the time or patience to worry over that right now.

She needed a theory.

"So, what do I even know for sure", Ran whispered to herself, shifting her position to a more up right one. "I do know that, for some reason, I fell in l… became a lot closer to Conan.", she just couldn't bring herself to admit her forbidden feelings aloud, even though she was alone in the house, "I know Conan is a child…, what would mean that I like children. However, this was the first time it ever happened to me."

Ran didn't quit know how a pedophile person does experience their peculiar tastes, but she assumed that is was very similar to how homosexual people experience their feelings. If that was the case, luckily, she had once listen to a TV report on the life of a lesbian couple, it would mean that pedophiles prefer younger persons over others and would fantasize about encounters with children instead of ones with people of the same age. However even though she fells the feelings, which she identified as love when she felt them for Shinichi, she never actually envisioned anything with other children, only with Conan. And it was not like she didn't know any other children when the Detective Boys regularly came over to play with Conan, but none of them seemed to interest her in the least.

As reassuring as this seemed, she must know for certain and so, for the first time ever, she voluntarily visualized a scene her mind had already showen her, but with Mitsuhiko instead of Conan in it. "Sorry for doing that to you Mitsuhiko-kun.", she whispered softly. She felt really bad to drag such an innocent and polite boy into her mess, but at least this wasn't something anyone could find out. She closed her eyes, thinking back to the worst dream she had so far. She was in a hotel room, the smell of roses filling the air and a soft red gloom came of a lava lamp on the night table. One could her the shower in the next room and a moment after the drumming of the water stopped, a small boy would leave the bathroom. Only clad in shorts he would make his way over to her on the bed and seat himself close to her, whispering a faint "You look absolutely gorgeous." Original that boy was Conan, only now he wore the freckled face of Mitsuhiko. The now orange light of the lava lamp would reflect of his still wet hair while he leaned in to let his lips meet Ran's. They exchanged a kiss or at least that was what had happened with Conan, in this case the moment was suddenly gone when she felt her stomach twisting and tying. The response her stomach sent her for the daydream was so strong that Ran had to sprint again to the toilet and bend over. While a vision with Conan would always carry some sort of longing, the one she dreamed up was met with nothing but disgust.

With the new discovery, the little glim of hope in her heart sparked and rose to a flickering flame, spending her a little warmth and comfort in this raging blizzard of confusion, guilt and despair.

"It wasn't like it was with Conan", she breathed faintly, relief washing briefly over her, before it was replaced with new worries. "But pedophiles can't love that differently from normal people, which would mean that they don't love every child they see.", the horrible realization dawned upon her. In order to confirm her suspicion, that she didn't like children in general but only Conan himself, the thought still wasn't a pleasant one, but it was much better than it had been before, she would have to visit a place where a lot of children would be and then try to envision romantic scenarios with them. As much as the thought of doings so crept her out, her reaction was already a little prove of her theory, a fact that calmed her even more, so that she didn't feel as bad as she felt 2 hours ago.

After all, she only had to visit a public pool in the afternoon and observe some of the children there.

That couldn't be that bad after all.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	4. Chapter 4: Experiment

Chapter 4: Experiment

"Ok, it wasn't just a bad idea, it was a horrible one.", Ran lectured herself in her mind, while half listening to Sonoko's rambling over what a hot guy should have and do. At first it didn't even seem that bad, Sonoko was immediately convinced by Ran's proposal to go to the pool in this hot summer and only an hour later they found themselves in front of the famous Showa Kinen Park's pool.

"Look at all those hotties, waiting for us in the sun Ran. Oh, how can you say no to those tanned bodies?" Sonoko started to praise a group of young men which were having fun by jumping of the diving board, right next to the children pool.

Even thought, Ran didn't like to play a part in any of Sonoko's dating schemes, she had to put up with them for lesser reasons, so the two girls made their way over to the poolside. Sonoko, like always, immediately started to flirt shamelessly with the whole group at once and Ran had to confess that the Suzuki heiress really knew how to leave a good impression, without seeming arrogant or narcistic. But she had much more important things to tend to and while Sonoko happily chatted with her new group of hotties, Ran approach the children pool.

She quickly scanned the whole pool and finally found the perfect target in form of a boy, around the age of 9, who looked very promising. He had black, short hair, a faint dark skin and a beaming grin plaster on his face, if he was 7 years older, Ran had no doubt that he would immediately catch Sonoko's attention, but as a matter of fact, Sonoko wasn't overly fond of children.

"Unlike someone else.", Ran thought bitterly to herself, but she quickly locked the self-pity and guilt away to concentrate on her task.

After a deep breath she closed her eyes and started to picture herself splashing around in the pool with the dark child, from there on they would engage in some sort of wrestling which would led to some sort of hug (it must have been a rather awkward hug, consider that Ran was a considerable amount taller).

Their face would slowly come closer. The sun reflecting in the eyes of the boy, before he closes them and leans in, his lips inviting her for a ki…

Ran nearly threw up right where she stood, but she managed to keep the fries, which they ate as a small snack before they came here, in her stomach.

"Ok, that was a rather clear answer!", she thought to herself, while trying to regain her posture before to many eyes focused her. In an attempt to play it up as ill, she brought her hand up and started to massage her forehead while walking wobblily, even though the wobbling was not part of the act. After she managed to calm her stomach, she was ready to try again, but this time she chose a completely different kind of child. The girl was younger than Conan, probably around 4 or 5,

had light brown hair and a smile, like only the happiest child in this world could ever have.

"Well, here we go again", Ran whispered faintly and started to bring up the images once more.

This time the scene broke before the girl even leaned in and Ran had to support herself on the nearby pipe of the water slide. Her stomach didn't react as bad, but her mind couldn't put up with the images. The look in the girl eyes changed, while Ran held her, to a mixture of fear and betrayal while tears seemed to form in the corner of her eyes. This immediately broke her concentration and the pictures vanished like sand in the wind. Of course, Ran felt absolutely miserable and even the fact that this was only a play in her head didn't help all that much. Nevertheless, and despite the fact that a part of her brain practically screamed at her to stop this madness, she knew that it would be worse to quit right now and after a minute or two her strength had gathered enough for her to let go of the pipe and look back at the pool. Scanning it again for a suitable kid, she readied her mind and stomach for another vision.

After a short while, she found another child, a boy again.

She closed her eyes and recalled the nightmarish scene.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	5. Chapter 5: Scars

Chapter 5: Scars

Exhausted Ran slumped together on the coach, her energy was completely drained by her questionable mission this afternoon. At least she had only show purely negative reactions and had even fled on the toilet once, because her stomach couldn't take the hit. In the end she had tried it with at least 10 children, all so different from one another, that she was fairly certain that her love only bloomed for Conan and Shinichi.

"Maybe I only like mystery-loving, soccer-maniacs with parents that are never around" she bitterly laughed out. But her thoughts were interrupted by the chime of her phone and when she looked at it, a reminder plopped up which read like follows, "Conan is coming at 5 pm." She remembered how she set the alarm so that she would have enough time to cook for herself and her little brother, before their favourite TV show started. As temping as it was to eat in front of the television, Ran knew that she couldn't allow Conan, to picked up such bad habits. Aside from the obvious danger of gaining weight, it seemed to her that the conversations one had while eating were crucial for a family, in order to live happily together. And if one sat in front of the TV, it would consume their whole attention and no conversation could be started.

So, she lifted herself of the coach, stretched with a loud and very unladylike yawn and went into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Today she didn't have to cook as much as usual, because it was the usual drinking day of her father, where he would stay out till late at night, sometimes even till the next morning.

Ran really liked to cook, it didn't just relax her, but also helped her to think, much like soccer helped Shinichi but with the benefit of producing something tasty. While her hands chopped vegetables, spiced the soup and prepared the meat, her mind started to wander back to the towering problem she faced.

"So, if I don't like children it THAT way, this would mean I only like Conan, but why exactly Conan? It can't just simply be that he resembles Shinichi so much, if that would be the case, why don't I have a crush on either Hakuba- or Hattori-kun? Sure, there are obvious differences between them, but nobody is exactly like another person, not even twins!" As soon as her mind formed this idea, she immediately saw a pair of blue eyes looking at her. She knew these eyes since her childhood.

They belonged to Shinichi, but the face that followed wasn't Shinichi's.

It was Conan's.

Confusion rose up inside of her, surely, she must be mistaken. After all it was impossible that Conan and Shinichi had the exact same eyes, only if they were the same person…

Ran dashed to her room, rummaging it mercilessly for the photo album of her childhood, flipping it open and taking out a photo of her 8th birthday, with Shinichi in it too. Then, she grabbed her phone, opened her photo app and search for the one picture she took of Conan while he cleaned his glasses.

There it was.

The accidental shot was so good, that Ran saved it. She felt a small smile form on her face when she looked at the little boy who looked up in innocent surprise at her, no glasses shielding his sky-blue eyes and no secrets clouded his view. He looked like he should look, like a child. A child that hasn't seen his loved ones getting hurt, a child that hasn't seen the black abyss of humanity, just a normal child, untainted by the world's cruelty. Even only looking at the photograph comforted her, gave her the feeling she could fight forever against her own desires if only she would see this picture, but that was no luxury she had right now and so she laid the birthday picture right beside her phone on the table.

Examining them closely, she could clearly tell that there was no difference at all!

Of course, she had discovered this already once, but seeing it again stirred the old suspicions again. And again, her spirit fell, deep into the abyss of lies, suspicion and a hurt pride of being his best friend.

"If it is really Shinichi, why doesn't he tell me anything?" She asked herself again, knowing fully well that she had no answer at the moment and might never have one, because there simply was none.

"How can a teenager, grow back to being a child? I even saw both of them together and still can't accept the truth!"

The shadows which were once forced back now returned with full power, clouding her mind, stealing her vision and obscure her senses.

What if she really was mentally ill?

What if she lost control over herself and assaulted Conan in the end?

What if she hurt the little boy, not just by physically but mentally too?

How could anybody ever forgive her, when even she herself would not?

Her thought kept on spiralling down tormenting her spirit with these questions.

Words like "insane", "madwoman" and "child molester" echoed louder and louder in her mind, suffocating her thoughts, crippling her limbs and blocking her senses. She could feel herself losing balance, could feel her knees slowly giving in, while her mental barricades broke, only leaving behind a pitch-black nothingness.

She needed help.

Fast.

"RAN-NEECHAN, I'M HOME" a voice chimed clear like crystal and bright like the sun, piercing the darkness and destroying the silence. Her sense came back, she felt her hands, her feet and could sense her body swaying dangerously. But before her knees gave in completely, she slammed her hands on the table desperately clutching it for steadiness.

"RAN-NEECHAN? IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT"? the voice asked, hearable distress and worry in it as it's owner climbed up the stairs. But Ran would not allow Conan to see her like that. After all, she still was the older sister and older sisters would never break down in front of their little brothers!

At least she would not!

"EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT, I JUST LET SOMETHING SLIP.", she called back to the door and before it opened to reveal the small boy, she hurried back into the kitchen, thanking the gods that the dinner wasn't ruined by her own weakness.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	6. Chapter 6: Worries

Chapter 6: Worries

Something was not quit right and it had definitely something to do with the loud noise Conan had heard when he came home. Ran had assured him that it was only her phone that fell on the table, after it had slipped her grip. This was not only strange because the noise was too loud for the rather light mobile phone, but also because he seriously doubted that Ran would let her phone just slip without a good reason.

But as curious as he was, he knew that there were things people did just, so they could save a little of their pride and dignity and even though Ran wasn't one to do so, he could completely understand if she didn't want a little child to know why exactly she was angry enough to punch the table. In all probability the reason was either he as Shinichi or her father, who had done something they shouldn't or not done something they should have done. Now that he thought about it, the last time he called her was a good 3 weeks ago and he knew that these calls were very important for Ran and he liked them too. Deciding, that he would call her this night, he engaged her in a light conversational about their days in school and told her of the "awesome" things they learned in class. Even though he knew visiting an aquarium was not something any teen would consider anything close to awesome, he still tried to sound as excited as a kid should be. Completely focusing on his act, he stopped to pay much attention to Ran's response and thus missed the small signs of pain.

For her, the evening was not as relaxing as it should have been. Even though she tried as hard as she could, it was just impossible to be as attentive as usual, while her mind was still filled with a chaos of thoughts all important but none of them helpful. Even when they started to watch their series, she had real trouble to just follow the rather shallow plot line of the mystery series and while Conan happily commented on the obvious tricks the culprit had used, she didn't even understand what was happening. Worst of all todays episode seemed to be a special one.

Ok, now it was too much for Conan. Till now he could blame her absentmindedness on stress and worry over Shinichi, but never ever would she forget to hold his eyes closed if something like this happened. As it turned out todays episode was a story-heavy one, which, on top of that, focused on the romance between the two protagonist and now of all times they had to show a make out scene. Normally Ran would not fail to immediately cover Conan's eyes and start to speak very loudly before she could silence the TV with the remote control. But today, today she just sat there, starring at the screen and clearly not picking up anything of what was going on. As embarrassed as he would typically be, as worried was he now.

"It has to be something bigger, something heavier than usual. Did I forget her birthday? No, that is only in a few months. Is valentine's day or something? No, that wouldn't be a reason for her to be like that. So, what is going on?", he started to contemplate. And while he was emerged in fancy and theories, dismissing them as fast as created new ones, the girl besides him awoke form her trance.

The first thing Ran noticed when she finally managed to leave her thoughts behind, at least for the evening, were the strange groaning and moaning sounds. Confused she stared at the TV screen where she could only see a blanket moving up and down. Not understanding at first, her cheeks immediately flushed red, when her mind had processed what she was seeing. In utter bewilderment, she looked around, spotting the boy next to her who seemed to stare at the screen, his face showing intense concentration. Anybody else would at least now turn off the TV and scold the boy for looking at something like that, however something in her mind clicked and started to ask questions.

"Why is Conan watching this so intensely? Is he interested in that stuff? Does he want to do this with …"

SMACK!

The loud noise made Conan jump, interrupting his brainwork and drawing in his complete attention to its source.

Besides him Ran sat upright, no longer emerged in thoughts and, as he noticed to his distress, with tears in the corner of her eyes. His detective senses immediate told him what had happened, spotted the bruise on her cheek and the red palm of her hand, concluding that she has slapped herself quite strongly, which was the cause of the tears, but this was not what interested him right now.

"R-Ran-neechan?" he asked hesitantly, "Are you alright?"

Worry flooding his sense, he could only look at the girl in front of him, which now looked back, hurt, guilt, fear and pain in her eyes. After a few seconds, she lowered her gaze.

"What have I done?", Ran thought to herself, "This is not something I can tell him, but what should I tell him? What would sound just faintly plausible?" Slowly turning back to the boy, she focused his face and looked deep in his eyes, seeing the confusion, worry and a faint shine of guilt.

"Listen Conan-kun," she started, not blinking, "Sometimes people do bad things and most people know if what they have done is good or bad. When that happens, some people remind themselves of what they have done and what that means. Do you understand?"

Now Conan was completely lost. He had expected a lot of things, but not this!

"What is she trying to tell me? Has she done something bad? And if she has, what is it?

Is she only trying to cover something up? Or is there more to this?" At an utter loss of words, the only thing he could mutter was a faint "Okay" and with that Ran stood up and vanished inside of her room, leaving a puzzled boy alone on the coach.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	7. Chapter 7: Advise

Chapter 7: Advise

"What have I done?", Ran asked herself for the thousandth time this night, lying awake in her bed and reliving everything that had happened. She dreaded that moment, she dreaded the whole evening. If she hadn't been that damn weak, nothing would have happened, but now Conan was clearly confused and worried over her. To make matters worse, she didn't just give him a ridiculous explanation, but then just ran away. Without even looking back, without even trying to be the good sister she wanted be for the small boy.

"Why? Why does it have to be that way? Why can't I do ANYTHING right?"

Again, she fell deep in an ocean of negativity, sinking to its ground and slowly drifting away, but once again a loud noise tore the silence apart and brought her back to reality. It was her phone.

Without even looking at the display, she pressed the answer button and mumbled a faint greeting.

"Jesus Ran, what is now wrong with you?", the voice on the other side asked, a soft sight in his words. "Shinichi!?" Ran asked, clearly not expecting her childhood friend to call her this evening.

"Oi, were you crying again?" he inquired, this time with worry heavily tainting his words.

"No, I was not. Why should I?"

"Ran, by now you should know, that you can't lie to me about that. Besides even if I didn't hear it in your voice, the call Conan made was cause enough to assume that."

"Conan called you? Why? What has he told you" Ran demanded, a little panicking.

"What if Shinichi found me out? What if Conan found out? Please, everything but that!" her mind screamed in despair.

"He told me that you seemed to be really depressed and absent minded. Furthermore, he made clear that you started to make no sense, after you slapped yourself?" the last words he spoke in a questioning tone and continued to say, "I always knew that you tended to carry every burden yourself, but to go as far as to hurt yourself because of it, it must be really something bad. And I really don't like to hear that!"

That was too much for her, if he cared why was he gone in the first place. "You didn't LIKE what you heard?!" Ran shoot back, anger and frustration mixing in her voice "Why do you think you understand anything that happened, if you aren't even HERE? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Ran," Shinichi answered, now completely serious, "I can't leave you alone with this, because I WORRY over you! Do you really think I wouldn't care just because I'm not there right now? Don't think that lowly of me, when you need me I will always be there, even if it is only my voice. And you clearly need SOMEBODY right now, so please, let me be that somebody. Let me help you!"

The earnestness in his voice took her of guard. She often thought that he left her behind, because he found someone better and, as much as it pained her to admit, she truly believed that from time to time, but what he said right now made it impossible to hold on to this thought.

"You can't help me!" she answered half sobbing, "You can't understand my situation."

"Ran, please, let me at least try to understand and if it pains you that much you don't need to tell me everything. Just tell me something."

This really wasn't fair. His voice, the words he chose, everything made her want to tell him, made her want to confess everything, but she knew she couldn't do that. He couldn't understand. This was nothing like anything he has ever encountered. But she couldn't exactly lie to him either, at least not right now.

"Shinichi," Ran started with shaking voice, "have you ever done something, which you knew was and still is awful, and just the fact that you done something like this would make you the worst kind of person?"

Conan blinked surprised. The worst kind of person!? Ran had hinted at something bad in her explanation, but that it was that evil was beyond his wildest guesses. However, he knew he had to take her 100% serious right now. So, he leaned back on his futon, starred at the ceiling and recalled his past.

"Something absolutely evil, hmm? Yes, I do think I've done something like this. I hurt somebody, over and over and even though I didn't want to do it, I had no other choice and worst of all, I can't even tell that person why I've done it.", he finally answered after a minute of silence.

Ran didn't trust her ears, after Shinichi spoke.

"He has done something that bad? I had no idea!" Ran thought to herself. For her, Shinichi was always the smart mystery nerd, sometimes a little bit rude, but he would never hurt a person, no matter what this person has done. For him to tell her something like this, made her realise, that they weren't the children they used to be. Both of them have matured, Ran while playing the big sister or even mother for a small boy and Shinichi while fighting crime face to face, away from home and family. Maybe he really could understand how she felt.

"I really didn't expect, that we were in such similar situations. But how can you cope with that?" she asked, her voice a lot calmer.

"I can't." was Shinichi's simple answer, "Every time I see, hear or even think of that person, it hurts. The guilt is always there and frankly, it is good that it is. Because that way, I'll never forget the deed I own that person. And when I'm finally finished with everything, then I can tell them. Till then, I have to just go on. Set one foot in front of another and keep on walking, not just for myself, but for everybody who waits for me too."

Ran was speechless. She had expected some small sort of advice, some trick from her brilliant friend. For her to hear, that even Shinichi had to just bite through some problems was a giant relief. Because it didn't only mean, that she wasn't the only person with this kind of problems, it also meant that it wasn't impossible to resolve them. Sure, Shinichi didn't have exactly the same problem as she did, but if he was willing to go on, how could she give up?

With new strength in her heart, Ran decided that she just had to continue. Even if she couldn't get rid of her forbidden feelings, as long as she knew what exactly caused them, she could suppress them. So, the next step for her was to either find out if she just saw Shinichi in Conan, and if she did, why she did, or to accept her pedophile nature. And no matter the answer, it would be the end of this matter.

"Thank you, Shinichi.", she spoke softly into her phone, "That really helped."

"I'm glad I could help you, Ran."

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

This time I wanted to thank everybody who read my story and/or left some kind of comment. Besides I want to answer on the first real "review" this story received.

To Swagnarok: When I started to write this story, I wasn't even expecting anyone to read it in the first place. Compared to that every form of criticism, may it be just or unjust, exceeds my expectation greatly. As to the length of the story, so far, I've decided only how it should end, but everything till the last moment is still up in the clouds. But I can assure you, that there will be more than 4 chapters to come. As to your two points regarding the stories content, in Chapter 5, she only sees two eyes in her brain,thinks they are Shinichi's eyes but then recognizes that Conan has the same, because she thought of him next. This means, Conan wasn't there at that moment, besides it wouldn't make much sense if he was just there, then vanished instantly again only to come back and yell "I'm home" this time. And regarding the cringe-inducing part, I try to write dead serious and somewhat funny chapters in constant succession to not let one of the two get boring. At least in my opinion, a story that always brags about how sad and serious it is, starts to annoy the reader with the constant drama, the same goes for a story that is an all time joke. But then again, everybody has his own tastes. Anyways, thanks again for your comment and sorry for the long rambling.

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	8. Chapter 8: Reboot

Chapter 8: Reboot

The next morning started, as always, with the jarring sound of Ran's alarm clock, only stopping after she dragged herself out of bed, over to her drawer and slammed her fist on the largest button of the hellish machine. Normally it wasn't that hard for her to get up, even in the early morning, however everything that happened yesterday, kept her up till the 3 or 4 am, so she missed out on a lot of sleep. Yet, she had to get up, make breakfast, prepare hers and Conan's lunchboxes and apologize to the little boy. After her talk with Shinichi, she realized exactly how scary and confusing everything must have been for her little brother and swore herself that she would never lose control over herself like this again.

She was in the midst of laying out the dishes, when she heard the door open with a screeching noise. After she turned to look at the door, her eyes saw Conan standing in the doorway, but unlike she had expected, he didn't seem scared. Then again, it wasn't like Conan to be scared by anything and the worried expression he had on his face, even though Ran didn't like to see it, when she was the one to blame for it, it made her feel a little bit better.

"Ran-neechan? Are you better now? Did Shinichi-niichan help you?" the bespectacled boy asked a bit hesitantly. Ran would have loved to pick him up and squeeze him gently, because he was just so irresistibly cute. How could ever resist such an adorable view? But because she knew that he didn't appreciate close contact very much and didn't want to freak him out again, she held the overwhelming urge in check, only smiling brightly at him and wishing him a good morning.

"Don't worry, I'm all better now." She assured him afterwards and finished preparing breakfast, a task which, much to her delight, Conan helped her to fulfil. When they've ate for the morning, Conan and Ran went to school and for some ominous reason it seemed to her, that he was a lot more talkative than usual.

School on the other hand, was like always, same teachers, same sort of exercises and same sort of talk with Sonoko. Ran told her of her nightly chatter with Shinichi, even though she left out the object of their conversation, and Sonoko started to tease Ran like usual. To make it short, it was a perfectly normal day.

Not so normal however, was the afternoon for Ran. It was not that usual for a teen to visit a children theatre and even thought she originally was only there to watch over the Detective Boys, she quickly found herself enjoying the play. Granted, she liked a lot of things, other people would call childish, but that didn't matter to her, as long as she was entertained by it. Today however, her interest was completely captured by Conan or rather by his reactions. Unlike the other children he seemed not the least bit happy, in fact, even high schoolers would have a hard time to show that level of boredom over this performance. Of course, Conan was more mature, than all other kids, expect for Ai maybe, but even she seemed to find some sort of enjoyment in the play.

"He really does resemble Shinichi a lot.", Ran thought to herself, "He too had a very peculiar taste for stories and, if you would ask him, he would tell you that this was because he most of the time knew exactly how the story would end."

In that moment, Ran a small idea plopped in her brain. Hastily she pulled her phone out and open a new note on it. She carefully typed in the words, "Bored by normal stories" and saved the document under the name "C-S similarities". Obviously, this meant "Conan-Shinichi similarities" and Ran planned to write down everything that the two of them had in common, in fact she already had a dozen plans on how to draw certain behaviours out.

Her scheme started right after the end of the play, when she asked the group what they thought of it and why?

"I really liked it", Ayumi answered as first, "The princess was really pretty and the knight was a real prince charming."

"I thought the dragon was really cool and the way the knight defeated him" Genta was quick to follow. "Your right, especially the way he evaded the dragon's breath was genius" Mitsuhiko agreed with his corpulent friend. "Yeah it was all like SWOOSH and BANG" Genta started to re-enact the scene and dashed forward, with Ayumi and Mitsuhiko hot on his heels.

"DON'T RUN TO FAR AWAY!" Ran shouted after them, but they had already reached the park, so she doubted that anything would happen, "And what about you two?" she then asked Conan and Ai.

"The story was a classic and even thought they changed the script in order to appeal to children, I must admit that it wasn't all that bad." Ai responded with the usual calm and analysing tone.

"It was utterly boring!" came the grumpy comment from Conan, "The plot was really obvious, the hero completely generic and you could tell how it would end the moment the curtain rose."

Ran could barely contain the soft chuckle and instead just smiled warmly at them, "Exactly like his big idol." She then quickly added the reason of Conan's boredom to her earlier note and tugged the phone away. If things would continue to go that smoothly she would have her answers soon.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	9. Chapter 9: Adventure

Chapter 9: Adventure

The sun shone as mercilessly as ever down on seven people, who had the misfortune to choose today for their hiking tour. One would normally think that you would prefer the gentle rays of sunlight to the heavy drops of rain, however this didn't apply to this hot summer months m in which any drop of rain was welcomed not just by plants but human and animals too.

"Hakase! We are going to die!" Genta complained for what felt like the sixth time in the last hour and as usual, Mitsuhiko and Ayumi didn't fail to support his statement.

"Now, now," the feisty professor, who had clearly the worst time of the group, said with a forced smile" we will arrive at our lodge very soon.

"That is, if you have read the map right" Conan couldn't help but interject, immediately regretting running his mouth when he saw the faces of the other three kids.

"EHHH, we are lost?" Ayumi asked, clearly not pleased with the new information, "Now we are going to die for sure!"

"Oh, I wouldn't be to sure about that Ayumi-chan, look there", Ran pointed at a point in the distance, "I think, I can see a house there."

"Where, where" the real grade-schoolers immediately asked, jumping up in hope of spotting the desired cottage.

"There, just where the forest ends and the sea begins.", Ran described, still pointing at the edge of the forest, where you could spot tilted roof made of wood.

"Your right, I can see it too", Conan now agreed to Ran's statement.

Finally seeing their desired destination too, an invisible switch flipped, and the exhausted kids kick-started and ran down the path while leaving behind a trail of dust and cheerful laughter.

"Are you okay, Hakase?" Ai asked the old scientist, worry warming her normally cold voice and Ran couldn't help but think of them as grandfather and niece.

"Ai is really a life saver for Hakase, he always seemed so lonely, when Shinichi and I suddenly didn't have that much time left to visit him.", she noted in her head, a melancholic smile on her face.

The picture reminded her of the good old times, when she was young, Hakases hair still dark and Shinichi still there, oh, how much she missed him, especially when seeing the kids flocking around the old man. But now was not the time for such thoughts, after all she accompanied them not to dwell on the past, but to spend some time away from home by helping the professor taking care of the kids. She knew there where a lively bundle, always searching for mysteries and secrets, and as much as she trusted the inventor, she also knew that he was getting old and if something would happen, especially in this rather isolated location, she wouldn't want the trusty old man to be alone.

"Even if he is an adult, he is still clumsy old Hakase." She thought, again recalling the past and all the query things he came up with.

"Oh, look her, what is this thing, is that some sort laser canon?" Ran could hear the happy chatter of the kids, before she even entered the lodge, holding the door open for Hakase and Ai, who came after her.

"That is a smoothie mixer, Genta" was the answer of Mitsuhiko to Genta's previous question, "you use them for making smoothies"

"What is a shmouhie?" Genta asked, completely butchering the pronunciation, what made Ran chuckle faintly.

Mitsuhiko opened his mouth to give n answer but Conan beat him to it, "It is a drink made of fruits and other sweet things. You put them in the container and press the button to activate the machine, then it mixes everything, and you are with a drink, tasting like what you put into the container."

"Seriously?!" Genta roared, "Does this work with ell rice too?"

"I doubt it does, but you would have to try it", Conan answered obviously very sceptical and Ran couldn't blame him. She has tried smoothies a number of times, mostly together with Sonoko, a smoothie lover and owner of the cottage they stayed in, what made it fairly obvious why the mixer was here, and even thought she liked the light ones with chocolate and strawberries, she couldn't imagine, how a smoothie consisting of meat or fish could be anything close to tasty. As it seemed she wasn't the only one who thought so, when Ai said, "I would start with something ordinary and then proceed with trying out the fancy stuff, if you don't like the normal ones, I doubt you would like the special ones."

"If you want, we can try to make one. Sonoko said she arranged for the fridge to be filled to the brim." Ran offered, knowing fully well that the kids would immediately jump on the offer and everybody would love a cold drink after the 2 hours walk in the sun. At first, they wanted to come by car, but Ai managed to persuade Ayumi to walk her and when Ayumi wanted something, no one of the boys would dare to defy her.

"I wonder what Shinichi would mix his in his smoothie?" Ran asked herself, after she went to get the ingrediences for a couple of normal drinks she learned from Sonoko, "Probably something with coffee beans, that mystery nerd surely does love their taste."

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	10. Chapter 10: Progress

Chapter 10: Progress

"No Conan-kun, you can't have that" Ran spoke sternly to the small boy who stood right before her, staring up with his big blue eyey.

"But Ran-neechan, you said we could make our smoothies with anything in the house!" Conan exclaimed, pleading with his best puppy eyes.

"Yes, but as your guardian, I have the duty to stop you from consuming any sort of coffee, be it as drink or bean, it will only stout your growth.", Ran argued back, playing her usual card against Conan's begging, an act they both were very familiar with by now and as usual Conan ceased his pledging and put on his best sulking face.

"There is no evidence for that!" he mumbled in a grumpy tone, but secretly knowing that this would not convince Ran of anything.

"I think you yourself are enough proof for that, Sonoko doesn't call you shrimp for nothing.", she proclaimed, much as Conan predicted, even though he didn't expect the hidden jab at his height, "Now stop sulking and drink your smoothie, I guarantee you will like it, even without coffee in it."

Still moping, Conan took the glass from her, taking a small sip, turning his annoyed stare in a wide-eyed look of genuine surprise, it seemed he liked the drink after all.

"I figured he would like my special "Shinichi's not-coffee" drink." Ran noted, smiling because of the pleasured look on Conan's face, reminding her of his photo, which showed him cleaning his glasses and looking surprised up at the camera. It was one of that rare moments I which he seemed like a normal child. Taking her own drink, she left the kitchen and walked out on the huge veranda of the huge timber house, "Why is he always acting so mature?" Ran asked herself, taking a sip of her banana, strawberry, apple smoothie, "Did his parents never let him play outside?"

She blinked, realising the true meaning of her theory, quickly taking out her phone and opening her notes, "Actually that would make a lot of sense, if his parents always trained and tutored him, it would explain why he behaves so mature." That would also explain why the small boy acted so tense in the first weeks of his stay, he just wasn't used to being treated like a kid and only with time he could accept his childish side. "Poor boy, what have your parents put you through?" Ran questioned silently, knowing fully well that her mind couldn't give her an answer. His mother didn't seem like a cruel person, so she guessed it was some kind of school, specialised on highly intelligent kids.

"That would also explain why he knows so much and even speaks fluent English along with some German." Ran further noted, writing her theories down, paying careful attention to differentiate theory from fact. But knowing that speculations wouldn't help her find the truth, she decided that she would question her small brother about this, in a discreet way of course.

But for now, she had to put her mind at ease, her mother always told her that too much worrying would make you age faster and even though Ran was pretty confident in her looks and figure, she wasn't keen on getting wrinkles with 20. Suddenly, like a wink of fate, the Detective Boys came running up to the veranda, "Ran-neechan, we want to go swimming, but Hakase said we only could if you come along.", they yelled, the pledging tone in the statement clearly hearable.

"Of course, I'll come along." She happily assured them, "Now go get your stuff and ask Conan and Ai too."

And so, only a quarter of an hour later, the group consisting of Genta, Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, Conan and Ran found themselves at a stony beach in front of a clearly blue mountain lake. To the great disappointment of the three real grade-schooler, especially Mitsuhiko's, Ai declined the offer, claiming that she wanted to finish reading a book she brought along.

"Brrr, cold" Genta complained after testing the temperature of the water with one of his toes.

"Oii, come on Genta," Conan said in a slightly mocking tone, "It can't be that cold"

Suddenly Conan felt his feet leaving the ground "Then why don't you test it yourself" a voice exclaimed in a cheeky tone and in the next moment, Conan was hurled through the air and splashed head first in the cold water. Gasping for air, he surfaced again and casted a withering look over at his childhood friend who looked back at him with her most innocent smile. "Honestly, who could be mad at that grin" he thought to himself, now also a smile on his face, "SEE?! NOT COLD AT ALL", he then yelled back to the rest of the group at the beach. And as if that would magically take the cold away the rest of the kids followed him laughing and yelling into the clear lake, starting a splashing war between themselves and Conan joyfully engaged in the battle as well.

With a loud yell, Genta sunk down after Conan dived under water and pulled his feet away under him, immediately receiving the repayment in form of a huge splash of water right in his face by Ayumi, who had aimed at Genta, but hit Conan instead.

The battle went on for some time, but ceased eventually when Ayumi started to shiver and, like the cavaliers they were, Genta and Mitsuhiko escorted her back to the beach, leaving Ran alone with Conan.

"Should we head back too" Ran asked, not missing the goose pimples on Conan's forearm, "Nah it's ok, but what would you say about a small race instead" Conan asked back, a bold grin on his face.

"Oh?" Ran questioned raising a brow, "Should I only use my feet to make it fair?"

"I think you would regret it after losing the race." The little detective shot back, his smile turning to a confident smirk.

"Then the challenge is on." Ran said, preparing herself for the start, "Ready?"

"Set", the boy besides her continued.

"GO" they screamed in union, launching themselves into the water.

This evening Ran had to note down that Conan was indeed a very good swimmer, much like Shinichi.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	11. Chapter 11: Heartache

Chapter 11: Heartache

The sun was slowly surpassing the horizon, slowly reaching every corner of the mountain side with its bright orange-yellow rays, falling through the huge window front, enlightening the dining room in which a teenage girl was sitting on the coach, sipping her smoothie while gazing out at the rising sun.

Ran woke up early this morning, not exactly knowing the reason, but she remembers some pictures from the dream she had this night and even though she couldn't exactly recall it, she knew the dream was different. In fact, her dreams in general have evolved from the lustful and haunting nightmares with Conan to more tranquil and harmonic ones. She rarely dreamed nowadays of passion and physical craving, but more of pleasing conversation, romantic dinners and beautiful walks. Maybe it was because she has somewhat accepted them, maybe it was because her affection for Conan has evolved from a crush to true love. Yet she knew that pondering over such things was futile and would neither change her feelings nor her current situation. For now, all she could do was live with it and figure out what was actually happening inside of her.

"Maybe schizophrenia would make it easier, at least I could ask myself what is wrong.", she chuckled lightly over the thought of having a conversation with herself, as disturbing as this may be.

But her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a silent creak, followed by soft and light footsteps, which she recognizes immediately as the ones of Conan. Hakase would be unable to walk that silently, considering his age and weight, Ayumi, Genta and Mitsuhiko would either shuffle or trample, depending on how awake they were and Ai, well if it had been Ai, Ran surely wouldn't have noticed the steps, the girl was just way to stealthily, even in the early morning or the late night.

"Ran-neechan?" Conan's voice piped through the silent room, while his footsteps stopped besides the coach Ran sat in.

"Good morning Conan-kun," she answered, slightly turning her head to look at the sky-blue eyes, "It is a beautiful sunrise, isn't it?"

"Yeah" the small boy answered, respecting the quiet atmosphere he lifted himself up on the coach and took a seat beside Ran, admire the view together with her. Ran reached over and pulled the boy a bit closer to her, while resting her cheek on his head and much to her surprise, the boy didn't even tense up. It seemed that he enjoyed her comforting warmth as much as she enjoyed his.

They sat like this, both not moving much, till they heard the shuffling steps and yawning voices of the remaining members of the detective boys coming up the floor. Ran stood up in order to prepare breakfast for all of them and much to her delight, her little brother followed her, grabbed a stool, dragged it over to the kitchen and climbed on top of it to help Ran, even if it wasn't much Ran would let him do. The small gesture really touched Ran and she couldn't help but think of her dreams, which were filled with scenes like this. But then realization dawned upon her, realization that it could never be like in her dreams. Conan would never live alone with her, he would never kiss her in the morning and he will never wait at the altar for her. As much as she tried to banish the bad thoughts, as much as she tried to stay cheerful, sadness overcome her in the end. It was not the sadness that crushed her lungs, drugged her mind and numbed her senses, it fel like cold water was slowly flooding over her, stinging and scratch like small shards of eyes in her heart. It was painful, even more that before, but this time she was still in control, it hurt but she was still here, here with Conan.

"Ran-neechan?" the little voice reached her, like it always reached her, but this time it didn't take the pain away. "Are you crying?" he then asked, his voice tainted by a mixture of worry, uncertainty and surprise.

"I'm fine Conan-kun" Ran said, "these are only tears from the onions", she assured him whipping them away with a towel and holding back the rest. Most surprisingly, the dam didn't break this time and like her true feelings, her tears didn't come out.

Still not completely ride of her sadness, Ran was at least distracted enough by the noisy children at the breakfast table, to temporarily forget her sadness. Laughing over Genta's stupid grimaces, be astonished by Mitsuhiko's knowledge and slightly embarrassed by Ayumi's girly questions masked her pain and grief nearly perfectly, but even if it would have been a perfect mask, Conan would still have known that something wasn't right. After the meal, Ran excused herself to go and take a shower and when she left the room, Conan couldn't else but notice her slightly hanging shoulders and dragging steps.

"What has happened?" a monotone voice asked him from behind, paying careful attention to keep the volume low.

"I don't know Haibara, it didn't seem to me like anything happened and still, she started to cry.", Conan answered in a concerned tone, "she really is my biggest mystery to solve." He then added, his voice heavy with fondness and a little pride.

"Please spare me the overly romantic part," the small scientist replied, her face showing clear irritation over the detective's comment.

But her face quickly turned to a serious expression, "You know, sometimes asking is the best way to solve a mystery.", she then remarked, while slowly turning on her heel, following the remaining kids in the sun yard and leaving Conan behind in the shadow of the coach.

"I know, Haibara," Conan whispered faintly, "but I am scared of the answer."

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	12. Chapter 12: Guidance

Chapter 12: Guidance

The fresh air helped Ran to cool her head down and the soothing sun melted the cold in her heart, effectively fighting the after-effects of her sudden sadness attack. After the gravest pain was gone and Ran was once again in control, she slowly lowered her head and let it rest on her arms, which were crossed on the railing of the veranda, "I'm the worst!" she sighed mentally, "I lost control and made Conan worry, again." Ran knew, that she had to put up a better act in those situations or else others would not only start to worry over her, but to also suspect that something wasn't right. Maybe she could put the blame for her mental breakdowns on the absence of Shinichi, but she really didn't want to give her dad or Sonoko even more reasons to curse the poor absente detective. As enraging and upsetting as his constant absence was, she knew that it had to be something very, VERY important, most likely something endangering the life of hundreds of people if not more, or else he would not value it higher than his normal life. As fame hungry and boisterous as he always seemed, in secret he greatly valued his private time and spending it with people close to him and since his parents left for America, he seemed all the more in need of her presence, the days in school and even the bickering with Sonoko. After all his independence, he could never stand to be lonely, a fact Ran got to know when she went on holydays with Sonoko in her 3rd year of middle school. At that time Shinichi's parents had already left for America and Hakase was absent as well, so Shinichi had no one he considered as close friends around. At first it seemed like no big deal, but half-way through her holydays, Shinichi called more and more and when they finally came back after a week, Ran found her childhood friend in a horrible state. It seemed that he has shut himself in the study of his dad for days and worked on unsolved cases, not even leaving the room to eat or sleep, only interrupting his work to call her. He was in that state for 3 full days before Ran visited him and when she did, he was a complete wreck, having heavy mood swings, ranging from pure rage, to ecstatic happiness and ending in a complete breakdown where he started to cry like a baby and stammered complete nonsense. This was one of the few times Ran saw her Shinichi cry, but it was undoubtedly the worst of all the few times. At that day, he ended up crying for full 3 hours, completely drenching Ran's shirt and falling in a deep and surprisingly peaceful sleep afterwards. It was a hard task to drag him in his bed and the part of dressing him was something Ran just couldn't do, so she left him like he was for the night, coming back the next day to check on him, only to discover that he was still asleep and stayed that way till the evening.

A small smile stole itself on Ran's face after she recalled the memory and she faintly muttered, "You are really a big idiot, Shinichi. This must hurt you at least as much, if not even more than me."

She has pursued that thought countless times, constructing thesis after thesis as to what could be so important to Shinichi for him to stay away that long and, as much as she hated to accept it, she was always left with only two possible conclusions. Either he had to stay away from home for the safety of the people close to him or he simply was unable to come back. While the first option portrayed her friend in the armour of as shining knight, still acting on his own will power, the second was not only the more probable but also the more distressing one, implying that the Great Detective of the East has lost, in some way or another. But what was even worse than all of those thoughts, was the uncertainty of not knowing the truth.

In fact, it was very similar to her feelings for Conan and if she just knew what was actually happening, she could focus on how to cope with it, but now there was always this tiny fragment of hope. The hope that everything was just a misunderstanding, solvable if one knew just how to unravel the tangled feelings and fears. Ran knew there was no easy way out, there rarely was after all, but as long as the hope was there, it could always disappoint her.

She heaved a heavy sigh and faintly asked "Why is life so hard?" not expecting an answer.

"Well it comes down to what you define as hard." A voice besides her reply and made Ran jump.

"HAKASE!?" she gasped, unable to prevent her voice from squawking.

"Ah sorry, sorry. I didn't intend to intrude like that, it's just that you seemed so lost standing her.", the old man explained hastily, waving his hands in front of him, "I thought you might need a listening ear or at least some assuring words", he stated further. Ran was still surprised but as her brain digested the words, she was really touched by the old scientist's action.

"Yeah, maybe that would help, but it will probably take a while" she said, her voice dropping to a bitter tone in the second part of the sentence.

"Oh, don't worry my dear" the professor was quick to assure her, "if it does help you it is worth every second of it."

"Thanks, Hakase" Ran replied and then started to elaborate her situation to the old man, "It's just that there is so much for me to worry over. I worry if my grades are good, if we have enough money to pay the bills at home, if I can ever get my parents back together, if Conan is happy and if Shinichi is okay." She knew that she has left out her biggest worry, but as understanding as the professor was, she doubted that he could take the hit of knowing about her forbidden feelings. So, she kept quiet and continued to detail her feelings, "Any of those things is no big deal on itself and even combined they are manageable, but not for long. Sometimes I just want to throw the towel, just want to leave everything behind and only live in my dreams, but then again, I know that there are people who count on me, people who I am important to and I don't want to disappoint them by leaving. Although I know what should be right, what I should do, I can't help but question if I actually do the right thing and even when people tell me what to do, I can't help but question if they really tell me the truth. So, in the end you could say that I am just lost.", she ended her monologue.

Raising her head, she looked over at the old man besides her, who was furrowing his brows and thinking thoroughly before he began to speak, "Well, I can't say that I am in any position either to tell you what you should do, but even if I can't help you directly, I can give you some advice,. It is completely normal to feel lost, especially when you have so much do think about and do, in such a short time, but I think it would be wise to some time to sort out what is truly important."

"Truly important", Ran questioned tilting her head slightly and the old man smiled at her. "When I was a small boy", he started again, "my grandfather used to say, "There is no point in building a door if you have no frame for it." Frankly at that time I didn't really get what he meant, because I thought, why shouldn't you build a door if you know you'll build a frame too and only years later I really understood, what he meant. Yes, it is a good thing to worry over your future and plan ahead, but isn't it more important what is right now? Sure, your grades might drop, but if they were good till now, why should they suddenly start to drop? The same goes for Conan and Shinichi. It is noble of you to care for them, but I do think that both of them are capable of taking care of themselves and will also talk to you if something is not right. So, in short, focus on the task and things at hand and think of your future when it comes, that way you are less stressed and more adaptable to sudden change.", the elderly man finished and Ran couldn't help but smile over him. He really was like a trusty old grandfather and she was really grateful for his advice.

"Thank you, Hakase.", she spoke in softly, "I'll remember your grandfather's words"

"No need to thank me" the old man answered, smiling gently over the girl he knew since her birth and came to regard as one of the children he never had, "I'm just happy that this old brain of mine is still useful.", he then added jokingly making Ran chuckle slightly.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	13. Chapter 13: Theft

Chapter 13: Theft

"Genta!", Ayumi shrieked, accusing the boy once again, "You have stolen my bar of chocolate!"

"I wasn't me, I was playing soccer with Mitsuhiko in the garden." The normally vulgar boy stated, paying careful attention not to upset the girl in front of him even more, while fending her accusations off, "I didn't even have the time to steal your chocolate!"

"You liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! STUPID GENTA !" , the small girl screamed, even louder this time and big tears began to run down her cheeks.

The whole fiasco started when Agase offered every child a full bar of milk chocolate, stating that this would be the only one they get and while Mitsuhiko and Ayumi saved it mostly for later, Genta just gulped down the whole bar. After Ayumi and Mitsuhiko hide their chocolate in their rooms, mostly to prevent Genta from sneaking a bite, the three met up in front of the house to play soccer with Conan. At some point, Ayumi was tired and excused herself, leaving the boys to play. Barely a minute later she stormed back out, waving her empty chocolate wrapper around, face twisted in an upset frown, and started to yell at Genta for stealing her chocolate. At that time Conan wasn't around anymore and Haibara was chatting with Ran and Hakase at the sea side, so by the time the 4 responsible ones caught wind of the argument, it had already heated up to a point where Ayumi and Mitsuhiko, who took Ayumi's side after Genta pointed out that Mitsuhiko too could be the culprit, just screamed at each other, trying to yell louder than the other side to get their point across. Only by separating the kids, sending Genta with Hakase while Ran tried to calm Mitsuhiko and Ayumi, the quarrel finally ceased, and Conan and Ai could start to gather information on what has happened.

"Genta, that stupid liar, stole my chocolate and won't admit it!" Ayumi was quick to point out to Ai and Conan. "Why do you think Kojima-kun did it?" Ai inquired, and Conan immediately understood that she was not agreeing to the accusation, neither did he.

"Of course Genta did it, who else would be such a glutton?" Ayumi answered, not caring how she spoke of her close friend.

"How did you discover that somebody stole the chocolate?" Conan now ask, already in Detective-Mode.

"After I left you guys out her, I went to the toilet, then, after a minute or so, I went to the girl's room to take another bite of MY chocolate. That was when I discovered that it wasn't there anymore." The brunette girl finished her narrative.

"Have you immediately left the room or searched for you chocolate, after you couldn't find it?" Conan continued his line of questioning.

"The wrapper was still laying in the hiding place, so there was no need to search for anything." Ayumi replied, still visibly upset, but more in control of her temper than before, "So, I left the room right away.

Thanking Ayumi for the explanation, Conan pulled Haibara to the side and asked her to gather Genta's and Mitsuhiko's statement, urging her to pay close attention to what their movements were and search for possible openings to sneak away. He then hurried of, assuring Ran and Haibara that he would not peek at anything unrelated to the case and made his way to the girl's room. The door wasn't locked, but Conan, who went back to his room when Ayumi left for the toilet and only came back out when he heard the screams of the kids, was certain that nobody had sneaked past his door, which lay between the corridor entrance and the girl's room.

"So, whoever committed the theft had to come through the window" the detective concluded, approaching the window front. He noticed that one of them was half opened, definitely wide enough for a person to fit through, but then he noticed the large pill of clothes, which were stacked neatly right under the window. Taking a closer look , he discovered a brown smudge on a piece of clothing, at the bottom of the bundle, implying that this was the hiding place Ayumi used.

"Interesting", the shrunken teen detective muttered, carefully shifting the piles of clothing so he could lift himself up to look out of the window. The window faced the forest, which started at the back of the building and Conan noticed how close the branches were to scratching at the window glass. It would be impossible for any human to climb through the window without disrupting the twigs, most probably breaking a few of them, but none of the twigs showed signs recent damage.

"There's no way Genta could come in through here without leaving any evidence, when it would have been next to impossible for me." Conan mumbled to himself with certainty, "besides, the window is at least 2 meters (7 feet) away from the ground and there is nothing a small person could step on to gain the needed reach."

Dropping himself back to the ground, once again paying careful attention not to disrupt the stacks of clothing, he regarded the crime scene as now useless to further isolate the true culprit.

When he left the room, he had no doubt that nobody in the house would have either the needed time nor abilities to commit this crime, which left him with only one conclusion.

They were not alone her in this remote part of the mountains.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	14. Chapter 14: Deal

Chapter 14: Deal

When Conan came back from his search in the girl's room, Ran has expected him to gather everyone and reveal the truth of the chocolate theft. Instead he marched straight, without saying a word or even raising his head, to the forest at the back of the house, so Ran assumed that his investigations weren't finished quite yet. Suddenly, she stood up and left Ayumi, Mitsuhiko and Ai sitting in the grass, shouting back that she would keep an eye on Conan, so he wouldn't get lost, in fact she never even considered the option of Conan losing his orientation, but it seemed that this was the most appropriate excuse for the moment. After all, it wouldn't be very assuring if they knew that she just wanted to observe Conan for her comparison between him and Shinichi, because even though she has seen both of them enough while solving a case, she didn't want to rely solely on her memories.

Hurrying up to not lose him when he entered the entangled brushwood, she reached his sides only meters before he vanished between the bushes and trees.

Turning his head when he heard the running steps of somebody behind him, Conan quickly focused his attention on Ran, who came to a hold just besides him, and tilted his head slightly to one side while widening his eyes. Ran understood the gesture as the intended question and answered, slightly panting from her sprint, "I can't let you wander out into the forest alone, what if you got lost or a bear attacked you?" Conan rolled his eyes at the answer and spoke in played annoyance, "There are no bears here, Ran-neechan", and before Ran could interject anything he continued with a smirky grin, "at least not since Sonoko-neechan came for the first time." Ran only scoffed at the remark and Conan took it as a sign that this conversation topic wouldn't get further discussed, so he turned around and focused his mind back on his initial task: finding evidence. Sadly, it hadn't rained in the past few days, so the ground was hard as stone and would not show any prints, even if the whole Kid task force would trample over it. Realizing that the ground wouldn't tell him anything, the young detective turned his attention to the very dry looking plants, observing them for any signs of somebody coming through here. To his big disappointment there wasn't anything to find either in the immediate area of the house, so he decided that he would search in a wider area for any evidence. For a long time, there was nothing unusual until he carefully shoved a beautifully-blooming wild rose out of his way, and caught the sight of something shining faintly, hidden by a lair of mud. Eagerly he dug up the possible sign of the culprit, only to discover that he found a crushed plastic bottle.

Ran had to hide a chuckle upon seeing the look of disappointment on Conan's face, which reminded her strongly of grumpy pet, pressed by their owners to wear some despicable dress and suddenly a picture of Conan in a white dress with red polka dots and a little ribbon in his hair plopped up in her mind. It looked so utterly ridiculous and cute at the same time that the "aww" that first left her lips was quickly followed by a fit of laughter. Holding her stomach, she had to lean against a huge pine tree for support, getting her shirt all sticky with resin, while trying to regain her composure, but failing spectacularly.

Of course, it irritated Conan to no extent when Ran just started to laugh, with no apparent reason to do so and even though he loved the sound of her clear and cheerful laughter, he felt like he was the cause of it, what made him somehow embarrassed.

"Care to explain?" he asked, after the laughter has ceased and Ran was only left with a smilie, but rivalling Kaito Kid's ones in doing so.

"Sorry Conan-kun" she managed to breath out between her gasp for air, " I just thought of something funny."

"Ehh?" Conan asked slipping his childish mask over his face, "It must be really funny. I want to hear it to!" he chirped, determined to resolve this mystery too.

"You see," Ran started "it's kinda hard to show it to you here, but I could when are back at home."

Not sensing the great danger that approach Conan happily replied, "Is this a promise?" and buried his own grave by mouthing that question.

"OF COUSRE IT IS!" Ran immediately returned, now realising the unique chance Conan had unconsciously offered here with his idea, "but you have to promise me to play along or else it won't be funny", she pressed, only millimetres away from grasping her chance

Still not sensing the horrible future that awaited him, Conan only replied with a cheerful, "Yes", which sealed his own fate. The moment after the words left his mouth Ran jumped up and urged Conan to finish the case quickly and while he started to search once more, the only thing she could think of was whether blue or red dots would suit the boy better.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	15. Chapter 15: Solution

Chapter 15: Solution

By the time Conan and Ran came back from the excurse to validate Conan's theory, the teenage girl has decided that blue would be the way to go, because it did suit Conan's eyes better. And now, after she had finished this important train of thoughts, she notice the puzzled expression Conan wore, which indicated that he didn't find the needed evidence to determine the culprit. She was tempted to cheer him up, but before she could open her mouth the boy spoke up, "It makes no sense."

A little bit puzzled over the sudden statement, Ran asked, "What makes no sense?", hoping that, much like Shinichi, Conan would better structure his thoughts and theories when he had to explain them to somebody else, who wasn't an ingenious high school detective.

"This case!" Conan spate out, frustration clearly hearable, "It is like the thief walked through a wall or teleported himself."

"Well, maybe there is a secret passage somewhere in the house", Ran offered and Conan had to grin a little over her fantastic suggestion, which she always brought up when he asked her about her opinion on a case.

"Why should the Suzuki family build a secret passage?" Conan asked turning his head to face his big sister, "and even if they did, how could our intruder know about it, if Sonoko-neechan either didn't know herself or thought it not important enough to show or tell you?"

Ran had to admit that the point Conan made was an excellent one and Sonoko would definitely boast over any sort of secret passage she knew, especially if she owned the building featuring it.

"Well… " Ran tried again, scratching her head slightly, "then maybe the culprit can shrink himself"

"There is no way that humans can just shri…" Conan started but cut himself of, avoiding this topic to not plant any strange ideas in Ran's mind. "She really is better of not knowing" the detective thought to himself, "or else she wouldn't be able to smile like that.", he added sadly, recalling her grin from earlier, still not quite understanding the cause of it.

"Well, maybe Kaito Kid stole the chocolate since he could obviously pull that crime off without leaving evidence." Ran started to spin her fancies even further, seemingly not noticing how Conan interrupted his sentence," maybe he needed practice."

"Why should he need practice in stealing chocolate from a child?!" Conan questioned mentally, thinking that it would be more likely to find chocolate where Kid had broken in, but the mentioning of Kaito Kid brought up an idea.

"Maybe… But, no… but if,… then… IT COULD WORK AGAIN!" the small boy suddenly ejaculated, startling Ran slightly and dashed off to the house while shouting instructions back at Ran, "Gather everyone in ten minutes in the girls room."

Ran, still standing at the exact same spot, was a bit puzzled as to what could work again, "Is he trying to recreate the crime? But then why does he need 10 minutes to recreate it? Maybe he needs to find something first, or somebody.", then, the rusty detective reasoning Ran had inherited from her parent's and sharped by observing Shinichi, kicked in and she started to think back, search for clues in what Conan said and ultimately produced her own theory. "Maybe it really was Kaito Kid who stole it, but not because he needed practice, but stole it unintentionally instead." She muttered while slowly trudging back to the house, "Sonoko told me that they would display a large Ruby here the next month and Jirokichi already hinted at this in an interview, Kid would probably be able to understand the hint and had come to check out the place while nobody is there. If that is really the case, then maybe one of his doves stole it, when it spotted the chocolate through the open window and Kid simply didn't notice that." But at that thought Ran paled, if this was true then Conan sought out Kid in order to discuss the matter with him, but before she stormed off to protect her little brother with her life, she remember not just the no harm policy of Kid, but the strange sort of pact Conan and Kid had agreed on and which prohibited both from doing anything to each other outside of the heists. Even though, the thought of small Conan meeting an internationally wanted criminal on his own made her feel uncomfortable, she shoved the thoughts aside when she rounded the corner and caught sight of the other six people, smiling when she noticed that the 3 kids have made up with each other. "They really trust each other a lot," she muttered to herself, thinking back at her own time in grade school, "much like Shinichi and I did and still do."

"Oh Ran-neechan" Ayumi's tiny voice piped up after she spotted the older girl and Ran made her way over to them, telling them about Conan's instructions. Obviously the three wanted to chase after their friend and help him find that idiot who stole Ayumi's precious chocolate but Ran and Hakase manage to convince them to wait for Conan in the house and so the group, lead by the 3 restless children, went to the girl's room.

When they opened the door however, they only found Conan sitting in front of the slightly opened window, waiting for something, but when they wanted to ask him what that was, he silence them with a rough gesture and motioned them to sit down and be quiet.

Not wanting to ruin the strange plan of the small detective the rest of the group did as he ordered and sat down, waiting for something to happen.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

Some of you asked for a fan art of Conan in a polka dress, so I updated the cover image of the story with it. If anybody knows a good way to share links or pictures with the readers, please let me know.

Yes, I drew the picture myself.

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	16. Chapter 16: Symbol

Chapter 16 Symbol

"Ayumi, can you see something moving?" Genta whispered to the girl besides him, obviously no longer able to keep quiet and frankly, Ran couldn't blame him. It was just not normal for children to simply sit still, especially not if nothing happened and nobody knew for what they were waiting exactly. In the last 10 minutes Ran was always expecting to see a glimpse of white followed by the appearance of the mysterious phantom thief, but nothing alike happened.

"Shhhh", Ayumi hissed back trying to seem patient, but Ran had noticed how her feet started to twitch since the 5th minute. And even Mitsuhiko had started to play with the corner of his jacket, only Conan and Ai sat in silence, not moving a muscle. Almost she spoke up, demanding to know what they were waiting for, when a faint rustling of leaves and twigs could be heard.

Immediately everybody was ceasing every other activity besides listening and, with growing tension one could hear how the noise came closer.

A smirk broke out on Conan's face, confirming everybody's suspicion that this was what they were waiting for.

Eight pairs of eyes were starring intensively at the slightly open window, no body daring to blink, fearing to miss something.

The noise now started to stutter, as if the person who caused it became aware of how close they were to their target location and halted from time to time, listening for any unusual sounds.

Now they could even see how branches in the distance moved, but despite the rather short gap, between them and their visitor, the sounds were oddly silent, but that just underlined the skills and expertise of Kaito Kid.

Suddenly every indication of the approaching guest vanished, leaving behind only the natural noises one would expect in a forest, consisting of bird chattering and the whistling of the wind.

Everybody was now like petrified, holding their breaths, waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting

And then suddenly a small something plunged through the window gap, lading on the stack of clothes and before somebody could move a finger, Conan flung himself forward, a huge sieve clutched in both hands, and slammed it on top of the piles of clothes, trapping the newly arrived guest in it.

All eyes stared at Conan as he shifted his body to the side, allowing them to see the prisoner, and proclaimed, "This is our thief."

Ran could feel her jaw drop and judging from the amused look on Conan's face, hers wasn't the only one. Inside the makeshift cage, a small ball of fluffy, brownish grey fur dashed around, trying desperately to find a hole to escape.

"A SQUIRREL!?", Ran, Hakase, Ayumi, Mitsuhiko and Genta shouted in union, startling the poor creature even more and even Haibara had a dumbfound expression on her face.

"You don't have to yell that much", Conan scolded them," or the squirrel will die of a heart attack."

"But… but… A SQUIRREL?! How? I mean… how did you?" Mitsuhiko was the first to find his voice again, asking the question everybody tried to answer.

"When you have eliminated the impossible," Conan started his usual quote" whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." But when only confused faces stared back at him, he started to elaborate over the case, "My researches have proven with no doubt that nobody present could have committed the crime, either because of physical incapacity or lack of time. This meant that obviously an outsider would have to be the culprit." he then continued, gently patting the head of the squirrel which he carefully took out of the cage, still securing a steady grip on the hide of his neck, "However, there isn't any other house in the next few kilometres and the probability of a hiker being the culprit was minuscule. Besides, committing the crime would require a person to sneak behind the house, have the strength to lift themselves up to the window while taking care of the branches in some way and seeing where Ayumi hide the chocolate or stumbling over it by accident.

After all this, it would still not explain what the person was doing behind our house and why they decided to only steal the chocolate and not even touch the luggage that was still standing in the room. If we put all of this together, we learn that our culprit only cared for the food, while he was nimble enough to make the required stunt, so it had to be an animal and because birds would have a hard time getting past the branches, I suspected it was some kind of small mammal." Concluding his narration, Conan looked at the stunned faces of his friends, smiling over their bewildered expressions.

"Couldn't you've told us this WITHOUT making us wait of 15 minutes in absolute silence.", Genta then roared, visibly upset, but Conan only retorted, "I didn't have enough prove so I had to catch our little culprit" while helping the little thief to climb up on a branch and watching as it dashed away.

"Come on guys" Genta said, still mad at Conan" let's play something fun instead of a waiting game.", and Ayumi and Mitsuhiko were quick to agree, dragging Ai and Hakase along to partake in the game too, leaving Ran and Conan behind,

Still slightly amazed over the solution, Ran just watch as her little brother looked after his friends, looking like a father who let his children go, proud and a little sad at the same time. It quite suited him and Ran recognised again what an important role he played for his friends, behaving more like an older brother than a normal friend. She couldn't help but feel a warmth spread in her chest, fuelled by the feeling of pride for Conan, but it wasn't the pride a sister would feel, but rather the pride a wife would feel for her husband. A month ago, the thought would have sent her in a state of embarrassment and denial, followed by nervous breakdown, but now she couldn't help but feel happy. Slowly approaching the grade schooler, who has turned once again to look out of the window, from behind, she spread her arms and hugged him, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"Hey, Conan-kun" she started, "shouldn't you feel disappointed over how dull the case was?" she asked him, faint curiosity tainting her voice.

"I guess, I should," the little boy in her arms admitted, sounding a lot older than he looked, "but you know, right now I'm just glad that it wasn't something serious." , he continued. His answer surprised Ran who hadn't expected that and like he sensed her confusion, Conan started to explain, "I have seen, death, despair and betrayal that often that I am just grateful for such low stakes, not feeling obliged to solve the case right, not feeling the doubt of whether I caught the right culprit or not and not seeing what hurt and dread the solution causes." The little boy in her arms chuckled slightly, "Of course, a detective should eliminate confusion, allow his client and fans to see the truth and be a symbol of truth, but unlike in fiction, the closing of a case is not the happy end. Humans live on, fight against all the negativity of losing something and even though they know the truth, this doesn't bring back what is gone. A symbol is only a façade after all, built to spend comfort to everybody who doesn't question, but it's not a solution. At some point, every symbol will fall and what was locked away will only hit harder, than it ever could before", the small boy ended.

The eanesty and dread in his voice startled Ran, how could a boy with the tender age of seven have such sophisticated and painful thoughts over reality and the human being? And even though she knew that the small boy would rather carry those burdens, than ignore the truth, she couldn't help but want to lift this weight of his shoulders. Pulling him closer to her, she tightened her hug, spending as much comfort to Conan as she could… and he accepted it wholeheartedly.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

No Kaito Kid this time, but it was a lot of fun to write the mystery in a way that implied his involvement. Let me know what you thought of the small case overall.

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	17. Chapter 17: Fall

Chapter 17: Fall

The rest of the trip went smoothly, without any further incidences and besides the bitter note, obviously caused by the little squirrel thief, everybody could relax and take some time off from their usual lives. The kids had fun playing the whole day at the stony beach of the nearby lake, Hakase could relax and Haibara was even considerate enough to soften his diet program a little for the duration of their stay. However, Ran got the feeling that the trip had the best effect on Conan, he seemed a lot less tense and even put some his worries aside for the moment, to concentrate on recovering his peace of mind. So, all in all one could call the trip a complete success, if not for the strange feeling Ran got after they came back.

It started only as a small pinching sensation in her chest, but she could feel it getting stronger as the day progressed and by the time she came home from school it had grown to hurt considerably. However, the pain would always decrease, when she was at home enjoying the time with Conan and her dad. The pain became especially strong when things didn't go according to what she had expected, once for example she had to stay longer after school, helping her classmates with some preparations, a task that she would normally not mind doing, but at this particular day it annoyed her to no end and it took a lot of willpower to not snap at anybody. At another day, they went to meet a client, which meant that her dad got a new case and Ran and Conan simply tagged along, finding themselves, like countless times before, between a dangerous killer and his victim. Thank to Ran's karate, they could take out the man without any injuries, aside from the ones the culprit received by Ran, who hadn't held herself back as strongly as usual. She didn't quite know what the man did, besides killing an innocent person and attacking them, that ticked her off that much, but fact was that she didn't only break his arm, but also cracked a few of his ribs.

"It's his fault anyways." Ran scoffed annoyed, "he shouldn't have threatened Conan-kun!"

Sitting alone on the coach, she had intended to watch TV like she usually did when neither Conan nor her Dad would come home, but today she just couldn't prevent herself from thinking back to the case and again and again the words of the man echoed in her head.

"You little brat, you better forget what you've just said, or you will see your big sister never again!" the man had said, only to receive a death glare from Conan, who stood protective in front of the women who was the man's target. "Oh, a stubborn one, are we?" the man continued to taunt Conan, "Fine, I would have shown mercy because you were a child, but now I will bind you to a tree, so you can listen and watch, when I take my sweet time with your sister.", he emphasized his words by licking over the knife he held, showing a mad grin and glaring in a very adultery way over at Ran. Conan, who obviously understand the meaning behind the man's word and actions growled a loud, "YOU BASTARD!" and when the man started to chuckle over the little boy, it was too much for Ran to take. Roaring like an angry bear, she charged at the man, kicking his hand with the knife away, smashing it into wall, not only getting rid of the knife, but judging by the cracking noise also fracturing his arm. Using the momentum of her kick, she landed a heavy punch with her flat hand at the man's solar plexus, forceful enough to send him flying back into the kitchen sink. The impact from that was apparently enough to knock the man out for the time being and Ran only realized exactly how dangerous her attack was for the attacker, when Conan inspected him and sighed a "he should survive this." The memory of his worried face was still so clear like everything just happened a minute ago, but what irritated her the most, when thinking back, was her reaction to this.

She was jealous!

She was jealous that Conan worried over the killer instead of her. Of course, every reason he had to worry over her paled next to the dangerous situation the murderer was in and even though he deserved not a single ounce of pity, he should not die. That was after all, what made the difference between a detective and a killer. The detective puts any judgment aside and leaves it to the law to sentence the person, while a killer takes matters in his own hand and decides what would happen to his victim.

"What have I done?", Ran asked herself, sensing something like a Déjà Vue.

How often has she asked herself this question in the last few weeks, how often did she lose her temper and did something she always came to regret?

Her mind started to work hard, pondering over the questions, searching for a possible solution, a cause for her behaviour and her mind always gave her the same answer.

"I'm losing control over my feelings?" she questioned loudly, her words echoing in the silent room, asking the question back.

"No…. No. NO! I can't afford to lose control.", she tried to say but her voice cracked and the words came out with a loud sob.

"No… no…" attempting to deny her realization she repeated those words like a chant. Again and again, concentrating on maintaining her mental barriers, reaching out to find a secure and steady grip.

But every word she uttered quickly faded away, barrier after barrier came crashing down and her hand sliped.

She fell, seeing in her fall how a massive wall of black came closer and closer, till she plunged into the endless ocean of negativity. Ran tried to hold her breath, keep the little flame of happiness alive, but quickly guilt, grief, jealousy and despair broke though, filled her lungs and intoxicated her mind. She could feel her limbs getting numb, could feel her head getting dizzy and slowly everything went dark.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	18. Chapter 18: Realization

Chapter 18: Realization

When Ran woke up, she wasn't at home anymore, at least that's what she thought because everything around her was pitch black and she couldn't see a difference if she had her eyes closed or not, if she could even move them.

"Where am I? ", she tried to ask, but her mouth and tongue didn't react at all, much like the rest of her body. Apparently, nothing seemed to respond and so Ran felt absolutely nothing. It was like all that was there, were her thoughts flying around somewhere. But before she could really start to dread the absolute void of anything, she started to hear something. Perking her ears, glad to be able to sense ANYTHING, she could identify the noise as voices, gradually becoming louder.

"H- -d she do -is? W-at is -ong w-t- h-r?", was all she could understand, but the next sentence came after a small pause, loud enough not only to hear but to determine who spoke there too.

"I can't believe I regarded her as my best friend, this madwoman". Ran would have choked at her breath, if she could actually feel her lungs or throat, "this voice", she muttered, still in her mind, recognizing it, "Sonoko?"

The Suzuki heiress voice spoke up again, "To think that I didn't see it earlier. She really lied to us all.", and another voice answered with a kansai accent, "Yer right I could have never imagined it, but hearin' it right now, explains so much."

"Kazuha" Ran identified the second voice, "What are they talking about? Who is this "she"? It couldn't be, right?"

"Really now," Sonoko started again, "to think that the overly nice Ran Mori, would get off to children? Nobody could have known that?"

"No! NO!", Ran tried to scream, concentrating everything her brain could offer on moving her good damn mouth and after struggling for several seconds, in which her two friends continued shamelessly to make derisive remarks, her mouth tore open.

"NOOOOOOOO!" the yell that erupted, filled the darkness, echoing again and again, till the blackness cracked and broke like a window glass.

Suddenly, Ran found herself on the backseat of police car, hands cuffed and behind the slightly opened window her two friends stared down at her, disgust and loathing filling their eyes.

"Oh, look who woke up, Miss child-molester." Sonoko remarked, her voice heavily tainted with venomous acid. "How was your dream, attacked another child?", the blond questioned.

"What? No? I didn't do anything?" Ran replied, pleading to her friends to believe her.

"Ya told us this lie for god knows how long and now ya think it would still work." Kazuha yelled, anger in her voice, "I thought ya were a responsible person, Ran, heck I would have let ya watch over ma children, if I had any. And you, you..." Kazuha was interrupted in her rating by Sonoko's voice, cold as ice this time, "Don't waste your breath on her. She's mad, so no sense arguing with her"

Kazuha only gritted her teeth as answer, turning around in the next moment and stalking away, Sonoko following right behind her.

"NO, SONKO, KAZUHA WAIT! I CAN EXPLAIN!" Ran screamed after them, not understanding what was exactly happening.

"You can explain!?", another voice snapped and when Ran turned her head to the voice, she saw Edogawa-san, stalking over, her normally gentle face twisted in anger.

"YOU", she screamed pointing an accusing finger at Ran, "After everything you've done to my son, you dare to have an explanation for this?!"

"Her son? But that is…", horrible realization dawned over her, "No! NO, NOT C-"

Her thoughts were interrupted by sniffling sound, coming from the other side of the car.

Ran jumped to the other window, pressing her face against it looking straight at a small bundle, covered in blankets, only his head with the brown hair and the oversized glasses was not buried in the fabric and could be seen, sitting on the stairs to the detective agency.

"Conan!", she whispered, completely taken aback by the look on Conan's face.

His mouth was slightly open, his teeth shivering behind the lips, his normally neat brown hair was in a complete mess, a bandage wrapped around his head, and his eyes, His normally sky-blue, smart and cheerful eyes, were gone, replaced by two widened orbs, filled with panic, fear, pain and betrayal.

He looked so hurt, so broken, it nearly ripped Ran's heart apparat.

"CONAN" she called out, wanting to take the boy into her arms, spend him comfort, but upon hearing her voice, the boy tensed, his arms tightening around him, shaking his head violently form left to right and then a scream erupted.

"NOOO! LEAVE ME ALONE! NO! " he started to scream, falling to the ground whole body shaking, eyes going even wider, "NOO! STOP IT! IT HURTS!", his screams died down to a whimpering, but despite that Ran could hear clearly what he said next.

"Stop it, **Ran-neechan**!"

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	19. Chapter 19: Encounter

Chapter 19: Encounter

Ran didn't notice when Edogawa-san picked up the sobbing and trembling Conan, didn't notice when the police car drove towards the station and didn't notice when she was pushed roughly into the interrogation room. Her mind was still busy digesting everything that happened, unable to grasp what has it apparently meant.

"I don't remember anything after I sat down and recalled the incidence with the murderer who threaten Conan.", she concluded for the fifth time, trying again and again to come up with a different solution, obviously do no avail.

"Mori-san." A voice called out to her, but Ran was too entangled in her thoughts to pay any attention to it.

"Mori-san?", the voice stated again, louder and sharper, still, Ran couldn't even hear it.

"MORI-SAN!", the voice yelled this time, finally breaking through to the high school girl, who jump a little and only stared at the unknown police man in front of her.

Growling lowly, the he took a seat opposite to her and started his questioning, "I presume you know why you are here? Good. Then do tell me what happened this afternoon.", he asked, clearly not willing to let Ran make her own case.

Still not able to fully grasp what was happening, even though she has heard and seen it more than enough, Ran only answered with a mumbled, "I don't know."

The officer, visibly not happy with her answer, sighted loudly and stoop up from his chair, only to slam both hands down on the table startling Ran.

"Okay, little missy, if you want to play this game. We don't need your confession anyway, the video along with the statement of all the people who saw you running on the street chasing the naked boy, should be more than enough to sentence you for the chair! And that's a still way too generous for you, child rapist!", he yelled at her, face red from anger and body tense, he displayed a frightful image. Normally Ran wouldn't be very impressed by the officer's outbreak, but because her brain was still recovering from everything she saw and heard, there was no room to deal properly with this situation.

"Child rapist?! I'm not a child rapist, I could never do such a thing!" she shouted back, her voice high and shrieking, sounding like the cries of a scared animal.

"Of course, you are!" the man shoot back, not willing to hear the nonsensical denials of the criminal in front of him, "You assaulted Conan Edogawa!"

Hearing the name of her little brother along with the memories of what happened before was too much for Ran and the giant black ocean of fear, pain, loneliness, despair and wrath suddenly exploded like a geyser, snuffing out every common sense left in her tortured mind and activated old survival instincts. Sensing danger, her brain had to decide between flee or fight and because the way out was behind the predator who threatened her, there was only one option left. Her karate training and fighting experience, paired with the now overly sharpened senses and sole focus on escaping made for a dangerous and deadly combination.

Shrieking as loud as she could, stunning the officer for a brief moment, Ran jumped over the table, dragged the chair, who was attached to her wrist via handcuffs, along and used it as a weapon. Smashing it on the head of the policeman, the plastic chair blasts into tiny pieces and the man collapses on the floor.

Not even moving an inch, he wasn't a hindrance anymore and because of the broken chair, the handcuffs now dangled loosely from her right wrist, not bothering her either.

Ran rushed over to the door, pushed it open and dashed down the corridor to the entrance hall, but before she could pass the adjacent observing room the door was pushed open to reveal another officer, who watched over the interrogation.

But before he could pull his gun out, Ran was already by him, delivering a punch to the chin, sending the police officer flying and before he landed on the floor, Ran was already past him sprinting down the corridor. Her mind remembered the layout of the police station well enough to guide her to the exit, so she bolted down the stairs, taking 4 steps at a time, arriving at the ground level no minute after she initiated her escape. Panting hardly, she stopped at the top of the staircase, which lead down to the reception and the exit, to survey the situation.

But before her eyes could scan the whole area, they looked themselves on two people, who were standing at the bottom of the stairs, talking loud enough for her to hear.

"To be frank, I suspected something like this for some time, however I didn't think she would only be keen on children. That's why I lay low, so I could observe her and check my theory, but I would have never imagined for her to snap that fast or else I would have brought Conan away from her months ago." The taller of the two persons spoke, earning agreeing nods from the shorter and stouter person.

"No… YOU!", Ran exclaimed silently, but oddly enough her voice seemed to echo in the whole hall despite its low volume, catching the attention of every person in the room, including the two at the bottom of the steps.

Turning his head to look up at her from underneath his brown hair, the blue eyes widened when they recognized her and Ran found herself trapped by the sky-blue colour. Tears started to stream down her cheeks, dripping on the floor when she mumbled his name, "Shinichi."

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	20. Chapter 20: Guilt

Chapter 20: Guilt

Seeing him here, hearing him say what he said tore Ran's world apart. She has doubted her won mind, has questioned her sanitiy and even went as far as to consider the possibility of having assaulted Conan when she lost consciousness. But never has she even thought of the possibility for Shinichi to not believe in her. He certainly would NEVER say something like this behind her back. He would talk to her, try to convince her of a therapy or something along does lines, maybe he would even force her to attend one, but he would never betray her like that.

"You are not Shinichi!", Ran spat out, glaring down at the man who pretended to be her best friend.

"Ran?! What are you talking about? Don't you recognize me." The false high school detective tried to lure her in, "Please, we can talk about this just cease your resistance. You could get hurt.", the worry and affection in his voice nearly convincing her.

"He is damn good.", Ran realized, but not falling for the imitation, "How could you ever think so lowly of me? I may like children, but that isn't something I can decide! How could you ever believe I would assault somebody, especially the people close to me?"

"Ran, please, look at the facts, the evidence…" Shinichi pointed out, but Ran just wished it away, interrupting him with loud voice, "Evidence!? Facts!? Where was all that when you decide to investigate a murder even after the culprit has confessed? You would never believe something, you haven't verified yourself, so why start now?"

"But Ran the video, Conan's story. What else could it be?" the doppelganger demanded, asking the question Ran had awaited, "I don't know!", she shoot back, "And it isn't my job to figure that out, you are the detective! You are the Shinichi Kudo who was chased away from every crime scene, during the first months of his career, but despite that, never backed down from the case. You are the Shinichi Kudo who proclaimed that he would always pursue the truth. You are the Shinichi Kudo who said he was my friend," Ran had to take in a deep breath before she screamed the next part as loud as she could, " **AND HE WOULD NEVER BETRAY ME LIKE THAT!** "

Her little speech did have a strong impact on everyone in the room and the resulting silence lasted for nearly 30 seconds. But despite the strong front Ran showed, she was faltering in her mind. The little drops of doubt only grew bigger, questioning everything about her.

"Ran…", the fake Shinichi started again, "I really thought you would understand. I really thought you yourself knew what is wrong with you. However if you don't see it yourself, then I really can't help you."

Turning around, slowly walking towards the exit, he directed his words over at the inspector who stood next to him, "Please take good care of her, she will need it."

These final words should have broken her, the rejection of everything they had experienced together, even rejecting his own methods was too much. But she didn't break down, she didn't succumb to doubt and guilt but instead her blood started to boil. A rage she never knew before overcame her.

Like an insatiable flame, the furry sweep away everything else inside of her, leaving only a burning hell behind, turning everything into ashes.

"This despicable copy-cat", she roared inside of her head, jaw tightening and teeth clenching, "This fucking con artist, dares to disgrace Shinichi in front of all those people."

While all eyes were still levelled at the detective, Ran hollered, "STOP RIGHT THERE YOU DAMN DISGRACE OF A DETECTIVE!" and her word's impact was undeniable.

The Shinichi clone turned around, eyes filled with unimaginable pain and suffering, and focused Ran with his blue eyes.

"Ran, please, don't do this. Think of what you are about to do.", he pledged to her, face twisted in hurt and sorrow.

Ran wanted to scream, wanted to let all her anger out on him, but seeing him with this look on his face reminded her to much of Conan. Slowly the boiling hot anger gave way to cold despair and loneliness.

"This is not fair!" she started to whimper, her hands shaking, "Why? Why are you here? Why isn't he here?"

Confusion creep upon the face of the detective in front of her, but Ran didn't pay any attention to it.

"He should know about this, see it in the news or hear it from somebody, but why isn't he here? Why hasn't he even called? Am I really that worthless to him?"

Slowly getting what her rambling meant, Shinichi in front of her spoke up, "He hasn't called because there is nobody that could call. I stand here, in front of you and I have seen what you became, while I was gone. It may seem heartless of me, but…" stifling a small sob, he interrupted his explanation and Ran could not else but look at him, "but, Ran. I feel too. And you have no idea how much it hurts me to see you like this. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to lose faith in you, didn't want to doubt you. But I couldn't take it anymore, couldn't take to see you look after kids with those sorts of eyes. Those eyes, Ran. They haunt me in my sleep. I always thought they only shone for me, but to find out that they are not just for somebody else, but for EVERY freaking child you see, is a blow I couldn't take."

Now tears were running down his face, discarding any possibility of him being an imposter. Only the real Shinichi could cry like this and the tears broke Ran's heart, like they always did and always would.

"But why…", she started, her voice shaking and failing" Why do you just leave?"

"Because I don't want to see you like this, I want to remember how you really are, how you smile and laugh.", Shinichi nearly choked at his own tears, but he continued tenaciously, now raising his head to look her in the eyes, "I want to wait for you to come back, I want to give you the chance to gather yourself once more, but if you can't, then I'll need time to forget your old self and meet the new you."

His teary smile and the words of comfort and trust overpowered Ran. Every suspicion she had was gone, every flickering flame of hatred died.

"How could I lose myself that much?" she asked herself again, "Why am I such an idiot?"

But under all those feelings of guilt and shame, there was a small thought, growing steadily and Ran decided that this was the only thing that she really could do.

"It isn't fair." she breathed between her sobs, "I'm sorry for everything Shinichi, but you won't have to wait for me, never again!"

"Ran? What….?", he asked when Ran started to raise a handgun, she has taken from one of the police officers during her escape, a horrible realization dawning upon him, "NO! RAN! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

Dashing toward the stairs as fast as he could, Shinichi tried to reach Ran before the stupid girl could execute her plans.

"RAN! RAN!", his screams echoed through the hall.

"I'm sorry Shinichi, but this is the for the best", Ran said while crying, pointing the gun at her own head.

"NO RAN! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

"Goodbye, Shinichi, I've always loved you"

" **RAN! RANNNNNNN!"**

She squeezed the trigger, and everything vanished.

It felt like she was floating in nothingness, her mind filled with something long lost.

Peace.

"RAN! HEY, RAN!", Shinichi's voice abruptly started to shout once again, disrupting the silence and tearing her consciences back from the brink of sleep. His voice sounded more jarring, but the horror and fear were still there, maybe even stronger than before.

Suddenly she could feel somebody grabbing her shoulders, starting to shake her violently. She wanted to fight the attacker of, but despite all her attempts, the person wouldn't loosen his grip.

"RAN! RAN!"

The shouts started to get louder and louder, till Ran couldn't bare it anymore. She just wanted to rest, to be relived of all the bad things that happened. Hasn't she done the best for hers and Shinichi's sake? But why was there still this dreading feeling, like there was something she had missed, something she still had to do. And with every shouting of her name, the feeling grew stronger and stronger. She didn't want to die, there were so many things left to do, so many words left to say and so many questions left to answer.

She couldn't really say what it was, but she knew there was someone waiting.

Waiting for her.

"I want to live" she managed to whimper and tried to fight off the trance that slowly came over her, Shinichi's cries of her name leading the way like a bell. The darkness tried to drag her back, to keep her from reaching the tiny light she could see now, but she pushed through. With aching limbs and numb senses, she stumbled into the light and then suddenly she could open her eyes.

The sight of a ceiling, she remembered seeing before, greeted her.

"Oh right, it's the ceiling of our living room" her brain finally recalled, "and the soft object underneath me is our couch."

"Ran?" somebody breath out in relief, right beside her head.

Slowly she turned her head to look at the person and it only took a moment for her to recognize the face she now saw.

Behind two pieces of glass, a pair of widened sky-blue orbs peered at her, displaying great worry and fear. Slowly, Ran blinked and spoke out the name of the person she thought she lost forever.

"Conan-kun?"

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	21. Chapter 21: Confession

Chapter 21: Confession

Conan hadn't expected to find Ran in perfect shape when he came back from his visit to Hakase. After all, the whole reason why he went was to lure Ran out, assuming she would try to fix the thing that bothered her gravely. However, when the camera, he placed in the bush next to the stairs leading up to the agency, didn't show anybody on the screen till midnight, he became suspicious and, trusting in his detective instincts, he rushed back.

When he entered the office, he couldn't spot anything at first, besides the flickering off the television, but when he made his way over, wondering why Ran hadn't turned it off, a soft groan reached his ears. Turning his head to look at the noise's source, he spotted Ran lying on the couch, cheeks pale, sweat running down her face and tossing restlessly.

The initial shock of seeing his childhood friend like this was quickly replaced with a flood of worry. This was clearly no ordinary nightmare, so he dashed to her side, shacking her shoulders slightly, but then Ran suddenly started to mutter apologies and the fact that she addressed them to Shinichi didn't make it any better.

"Hey Ran, wake up! Ran!" Conan started to call out to her, not caring for dropping the honorific, "RAN! RAN!"

The fear made his shouts go louder and louder, while he started to grip and shake her more forceful, but all his efforts were only answered with Ran struggling to shake his grip off. However, in his desperate state he wasn't willing to let go and only started to increase his effort to wake her up and finally she stopped to trash around and her eyes slowly opened.

"Ran?", the little boy exclaimed, relief flooding his mind, just happy that his friend woke up.

"Conan-kun?" Ran whispered faintly, still dazzled from her dream and Conan quickly slide his childish mask back on.

"Ran-neechan? Are you ok, does it hurt?", he asked, expecting her to smile and assure him that it was only a bad dream, but when Ran suddenly backed away from him, eyes widened in horror, he was taken aback.

"Ran-neechan?", he asked again, completely clueless of what caused her withdrawal, and hearing how she started to sob only added to his confusion.

"Conan-kun", Ran faintly cried out, "I'm so sorry! I didn't want to… I.. I" she started to stutter, "I don't know what happen…when I woke up everybody just told me what…oh god… what have I…how could I…can you forgive me?", she finally blurted out in a pleading voice.

"What are you talking about?" was the only thing could utter back, now completely lost in her words and actions.

"You know, the assa… I mean the mole…", she started again, not able to speak out the words and then something inside of her seemed to break. Suddenly she threw herself on his tiny shoulder crying out everything she tried to suppress. Her tears and words started to flow out, drenching Conan's shirt and flooding his ears.

"I have assaulted you!", she cried out, slowly confessing everything she tried to keep in to him.

"I tried to keep it in because it is crazy," her mouth just babbled, only stopping to take a breath, "but whenever I saw you speak to other girls or when you were gone or when something upset you, I just couldn't keep it in."

Her voice grew louder and louder, ranting on about all her jealousy, envy and other feelings she had, only to end with the one sentence, "I LOVE YOU, CONAN!"

It was hard to even understand everything she said, but actually processing it was just impossible for Conan. So, still digesting everything she had said, he mindlessly answered, "I love you too, Ran-neechan.", but immediately regretted those foolish words, after the came over his lips.

At first Ran only stared at him, emotions fluttering over her face as quickly as a flock of birds, but then it ended in a mix of disappointment and loneliness.

"Of course, you don't even understand" she whispered, her voice filled with the dread and pain of months, "I'm sorry Conan-kun.", she started to sob again, lifting herself up from the couch, "But you can't… stay… here.", she finally muttered, nearly chocking at the last words, before she turned around and rushed to the door.

Conan, who now finally understood what was actually happening, knew that he could not let her go, not now, not after everything she had confessed to him.

"RAN-NEECHAN!", he screamed, chasing right after her, up the stairs and to her room. But because of his short legs, she managed to lock the door before he could squeeze himself through the brief opening.

"RAN-NEECHAN!" he screamed while slamming his fists against the wood, "PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!"

"No, Conan-kun", he could hear Ran's faint reply through the sturdy wood, "I'm dangerous. If I stay next to you, I could hurt you."

"No you won't" he screamed back, determined to not fuck up, at least this time, "You are strong, I know that and I trust you." He tried to comfort her, intentionally dropping his Conan-mask and using his old speech patterns. This was not the time to care about some silly organisation or some stupid poison. Right now, all that mattered was to bring his friend back, at all costs.

But in her despair, Ran's mind was too clouded to notice the change in his way of speaking, "How could you trust me, when I don't even trust myself" she asked bitterly.

"I'm a pedophile, Conan-kun" she now screamed, finally admitting the horrible truth, "I tried to disprove this fact for month, but in the end, I could only prove how desperate and crazy I was. Even considering the possibility of you being Shinchi, as if people would suddenly shrink."

"But that is the truth!" Shinichi, shoot back, knowing fully well that this was the only way to save his friend, "You are neither a pedophile, nor are you crazy!"

"STOP IT CONAN!" Ran shriek, not willing to hear these lies, "Why can't you just accept what I am?"

"How could I accept something wrong? Ran! You know I, SHINICHI KUDO, would never trade the truth for convenience!"

This sentence was enough to overwhelm Ran.

These were the words.

The words she wanted to hear in her nightmare.

The words only her best friend could voice.

And despite all the doubt and impossibility she faced, she wanted to trust the voice.

Find truth and honesty in it, like Shinichi had always given her.

Slowly she reached for the the key and turned it, to unlock the door, but only when she pulled the door open, Conan would enter her room.

Holding his glasses in his right hand, looking up at her not with the usual childish look, but with a reassuring grin.

"Thank you", he voiced faintly, relief filling his features, showing Ran clearly how much, he cared.

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Ran asked, still sniffling a little, and Conan answered with a weak smile, "How could I ever truly fear you?"

The small gesture pleased Ran and reminded her too that despite all her words and actions, she would never be able to truly hurt her friends. And just knowing this comforted her more than anything and proved her again the invalidity of her nightmare.

Following Conan to sit beside him on her bed, she enjoyed the silence of them just siting there.

"So, you said you are Shinichi?", Ran finally broke the silence, "Care to explain how this could happen?"

And Conan started his narration.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

 _Questions and review are highly requested and if you want to know how the story continues leave a follow._

I hope you liked it so far and are thrilled for more.

Farewell


	22. Chapter 22: Reunion

Chapter 22: Reunion

"… and that's how I ended up here with you", Conan ended his narration, including not only how he shrunk, but also how he came to guess Ran's worries.

Taking every word in, knowing how much they meant to Shinichi and how much it relieved him to share his story, Ran needed a few minutes to properly digest the whole story.

"It sounds like a fairy tale or science fiction novel.", she finally pointed out, now understanding truly, not only why she felt this feeling of affection for Conan, but also why Conan, behaviour was swaying so strongly between too childish and too mature. He would have to work on his act, to make it more believable.

But this was something she saved for later because right now there was only one thing, she cared about. Slowly turning her upper body over to Shinichi, she embraced him, softly pressing her cheek on his, displaying every ounce of love she could find in this gesture.

"I really, really missed you Shinichi.", she breaths out his name for what feels like the first time in years, accepting everything he has confessed to here, including his current condition.

"Aren't you mad at me?", Conan now ask, voice containing a small pinch of bitterness.

Instead of giving him a direct answer, Ran only pulled away from him and flipped his forehead lightly, "You silly, of course I'm not pleased that you lied to me, but I totally understand your reasons for doing so. Besides it is my own fault for not figuring out the truth, even though I had all the needed evidence. However, I expect no more lies in our future cooperation."

Conan's eyes nearly plopped out of his head when he heard Ran's demand, "Cooperation?! Ran, haven't you listened to me? These guys are dangerous and they will not…"

"…hesitate to kill anybody who is connected in some way to their target. You already said that." Ran interrupted her younger brother, who is technically older but is biologically still younger than her, "But if they ever catch you they will kill me nonetheless, so I should rather help you not to get caught in the first place."

"I won't get caught!", Conan interjected and Ran had to snicker slightly over his sulking face, "Then there is nothing to worry about, so why shouldn't I help", Ran concluded, clearly knowing that she had the upper hand in this argument.

This fact was also apparent to him and so he sighed heavily but accepted the help of his new ally, in the end.

"HOWEVER" he added sternly, "You will not fight them, you will not chase them and if I tell you to leave me behind you will do so."

Ran only snorted slightly at his request, "The third point is an absolute no go! I have lost you once already, I won't lose you a second time, even if this means that I have to tie you up and carry you."

"But Ran, I'm still in a child's body, I can hide way better than you can, nobody suspects a kid, not even them.", Conan argued back, trying hard to sound as strict as he could in this body, clearly failing in his intent.

"If you have the time to hide, we also have the time to run. Besides didn't you say the FBI is involved, let them handle the direct contact.", Ran pointed out, not ready to lose this argument and because Conan was all too familiar with her stubborn nature he had no choice but to accept her decision, silently promising himself to keep her as far away from them as possible.

"But what do we do about our daily routine?" Ran brought the next topic up," I mean, people will notice if I suddenly stop to pick you up or drag you away from the crime scene."

"That's true. We could agree on a sign that signals that I'm done with whatever I do, so you can pick me up then." Conan voiced the idea which sounded pretty good to Ran and she was quick to agree to, before a teasing smile started to bloom on her face.

"Am I allowed to scold you?"

"If you think it absolutely necessary, go ahead." Conan only sighed, "but don't overdo it. Too much can be as suspicious as too less."

"Don't worry, unlike you I don't have to catch a murder AND play child. I only have to watch you, so not much is changing for me?"

"You were watching me?"

"Isn't it normal for a big sister to watch over her little brother? Besides it's also normal for a couple, right?", Ran added, her checks starting to flush, but not as strongly as Conan's whole head, who rivalled a tomato with his colour.

"I guess it isn't.", was the only thing he could answer, trying to hide his blush behind his fringe. He was always so cute, especially when he was embarrassed, but now that Ran knew he was actually Shinichi, she couldn't help but find him even more adorable.

"Awwww", she exclaimed, her voice sounding like a purr and she promptly swooped the boy up in her arms, hugging him tightly.

"Ahhhh, Ran let me go, now is not the time for this!", the boy interjected, clearly displeased with the close contact, even though he has practically accepted her as his girlfriend earlier.

"Well he was never one to appreciate physical proximity.", Ran thought to herself, deciding that she would teach him to be less reserved in that aspect.

Knowing that he was right too, she set him back down on the sheets, plating a faint kiss on his cheek,

Even though it was only a brief contact, Conan was completely stunned by the small contact of her lips.

"I'll have to bear a lot of teasing from now on.", he contemplated, but when seeing Ran smile genuinely at him for what felt like the first time in months, he decided that it was worth it. At least from now on he could tell her anything and whatever might happen, he was sure she would not leave him.

And what was there more for him to wish for?

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

Greetings

Well, that is how my first story ends. I will post an epilogue chapter soon which shows how they live from now on, but aside from that I'm done

Of course, I really wanted to thank everybody who read my story and truth be told, I never expected so many people to read it at all. Seems that I underestimated the Detective Conan fan-fiction community. Of course, I am happy about every comment (well not every comment, nobody likes the "You suck" type of comment" and I am really amazed how well you seemed to receive the story. After all, even though I think I did a fairly good job, I am not 100% satisfied with how the story turned out. The mood swings where to suddenly, the drama to forced and whole project was too rushed.

But enough with the self-criticism, I'll just have to do it right in my next story, because this was surely not my last. I can't exactly tell you when I will start the next one, but I do have some ideas in mind, so it probably won't take too long. Also, I intend to write longer chapters, with more time in between the releases. If the story is short enough it will possibly even end up as a one shot, because I thought the chapters didn't manage to uphold the mood of the previous ones very well.

But that's all for now. Sorry for the long ranting, which probably only 10% of you guys read (I mostly don't read these comments too), and again a huge thank you for reading, sharing, rating and following my story.

I hope you liked it and if you are thrilled for more, consider following my account. For those who absolutely can't wait, I have started a fan-manga of Detective Conan, which you can find by checking my profile description, should be the third lowest line.

Thank you again and farewell

Ikasul


	23. Epilog

Epilog

Conan smiled his usual grin upon finishing the examination of the floor and every garbage bin in the whole house. It had been a tiring process and without Ran's help he would have need twice as long, but the fact that they didn't find anything was a good sign. Smirking Conan wanted to leave the room of the crime, where some police officers still loitered around, searching for something. But before he could make a step, a pair of hands grabbed him and lifted him up to a girl's chest. "Conan-kun", Ran scold, the faint teasing undertone she started to use whenever she had to act her role as bigger sister, "You can't just walk around the crime scene. Come we will go back to dad.", and with those words, she carried him away. Upon exiting the room and making sure no one was able to hear them she whispered solightly annoyed, "How often do I have to tell you, that it looks creepy when you suddenly start to grin at a murder scene!"

"Sorry Ran-neechan.", the boy in her arms apologized, scratching his cheek, "but I just can't help it. You know how I love the feeling of having the culprit backed into a corner."

"First of, you don't have to call me Ran-neechan when nobody is around, we have agreed to that, right? And second I can't believe that they haven't noticed till now, so try to get rid of this habit or hide it at least." Ran scoffed angry, but Conan knew that her anger stemmed only from worry.

"We have also agreed, that I would call you Ran-neechan whenever we are in unsafe locations and I don't consider crime scenes and Kid heists to be particularly safe." Conan retorted.

After they have talked things trough, they came up with a bunch of rules, ranging from how to call each other up to what Shinichi was allowed to know. Conan didn't think much of it but Ran insisted that it would be suspicious for a child to know too much, so she forced Conan to promise her to turn down his encyclopaedia knowledge a bit.

"Ran-neechan?", a voice called out to her, bringing her back to reality and she noticed that they already arrived in the main hall, were everyone was gathered, the police still debating with the house owner and Kogoro, who the culprit could be. It was a huge buffet after all, intended as a sign of gratitude to all the sponsors of a huge project Ran couldn't quit remember and her father was invited as a special guest, even though there was no apparent reason for him to be there. After the delicious meal, the group consisting of 16 people left the dining hall, some went to smoke while others strolled around the house. A bell should chime when the dessert was ready, but 10 minutes before the ring of the bell, a scream erupted from one of the back rooms of the large mansion. Upon following the scream, Ran, Kogoro and Conan found the dead body of one of the most important sponsors for the project and, before the police even arrived, Conan had already spotted the strangulation marks left by a thin thread on the man's neck and has narrowed down the list of suspects, sole based on their clothing.

"We were the first to arrive at the scene, so the culprit must have fled the crime scene quickly before we arrived. However, pricy suits are not designed for running, so the clothing of the culprit must have strong wrinkles.", he explained to Ran after they were chased out of the room when the police arrived. Afterwards Ran, much to Conan's pleasure he no longer had to steal sheets of paper showing the facts and findings regarding the crime scene, asked the forensic team if the murder weapon had been found, which was not the case, so, Ran and Conan split up to search the whole house for it.

And now that they haven't found the thread, Conan concluded that it would still have to be in possession of the murderer.

"But I tell you that it has to be the butler! It's always the butler" Kogoro's loud voice insisted, only to be answered with an equally loud reply by the host of the dinner, "Francois may be a butler and a foreigner, but he has served me for more than a decade and since then I haven't heard a single word of complain. He is most definitely not the culprit. "

Kogoro, not willing to lose his prime subject, was about to retort, when a sudden dizziness overcame him, and he started to wobble backwords. After he slumped in the armchair behind him, his head tilted down, effectively hiding his face and everybody knew what was about to happen.

"Oh, it's sleeping Kogoro!" Takagi exclaimed and Inspector Megure only muttered a faint "Was about time."

"If you trust in your servant so strongly," Kogoro's voice started in a much politer way, "then I am glad to assure you of his innocence. The culprit is this case was not one of the employees, who served us this delicious dinner, but one of the guests who sat with us at the table."

Not even shifting a tiny bit, the renowned detective continued, "But before reviling who of the present people committed the crime, I'd like to demonstrate how the murder was executed. First the state of the room. When we arrived, I had to break down the door, because I couldn't open it without force. The examination afterwards showed us that it was only locked with a bolt from the inside, even though it could also have been locked with a key, which we found in the victims pocket. However, it seemed the culprit didn't need to secure it further, because his plan has already failed!", Kogoro's voiced dropped to a low tone at the end of the sentence. Everybody in the room seemed to be taken aback by this revelation and as usual Megure asked the question, hanging in the air, "But the man is dead Mori-kun! So, how can you say that his plan failed."

"If you look at the crime scene, you will note that it has the perfect setup for a locked room suicide. The locked door, the torn goodbye-letter in this rooms trash can and the poisoned coffee on the table are all irrefutable evidence for the culprit's scheme. He likely lured the victim to this room, claiming to propose a deal, bringing along a cup of poisoned coffee as a token of his good will. He would only need to place the letter, lock the door with bolt and the victims key, which he still has in his left breast pocket, and escape from the room after the victim succumbed to the poison." The sleeping detective or rather the child detective, hiding in his shadow, explained.

In search for confirmation, Megure turned to the forensic team, which were quick to confirm the presence of the poison in the coffee.

"But Mori-kun, how can you escape from this room while it is locked? We are on the third floor, there is no tree outside and the door closes neatly!", Megure exclaimed, feeling the usual sense of Deja-Vue he got every time a detective explained him anything.

"This part of the trick will be demonstrated by Ran," Kogoro said, while all eyes turned over to his daughter, who stood behind the table, facing the door, "after all, she was the one who figured out this trick.", the siting detective revealed, his voiced tainted with pride," Ran! Show them!"

Ran scratched her cheek embarrassed, she still didn't quite understand why Shinichi insisted, that she would partake in solving the cases. True she had figured the trick out, but only after Conan had repeated every known fact twice to her, patiently waiting for her to solve the riddle. Since their "Big Night of Revelation", as Hattori called it, Conan had always tasked Ran with solving a small portion of the riddle and whether she got it right or not, she would have to reveal the trick to everybody. This was one of Conan's demands and he heavily insisted that Ran would continue doing it, claiming that it would make everything easier.

"No matter what happens, whether I die or regain my old body, your dad will lose the "Sleeping Kogoro". So, I thought it would give him some piece of mind, if he knew his daughter could continue his work. I don't want to force you to become a detective, but it can't hurt to be able to be one.", was what he said to her.

Yes, she didn't want to become a detective.

She wanted to be a mother and wife, waiting at home for her children and husband.

However, she was convinced that her husband would continue her father's legacy or rather his own legacy.

Snapping out of her memories, Ran started her explanation slowly, paying careful attention not to stutter, like she did when she first played her role.

"So,…even though the plan of the murder hasn't worked as intended,… he escaped like he planned. If you would all look over at my dad, I can start." Ran ended, still nervous as always, but she remembered Conan's word of encouragement, he would always tell her if she needed them.

As instructed, everyone turned their heads to look over at the still motionless man sitting in the armchair and wondering what would happen next.

After a nearly half a minute of waiting for Kogoro to do something, Megure asked confused, "Why should we look at Mori-kun?" turning his head to look back, only finding an empty table before his eyes, "Ran-kun?", he asked, voicing the confusion everybody of the spectators felt right now.

"Please focus your attention back on me.", Mori demanded in his usual deep voice, seemingly unfazed by his daughter's disappearance, "the mystery will soon be revealed."

After a couple of minutes, the door behind him opened and Ran entered the now unlocked room, still nervous, but wearing an amused smile on her face, when she spotted the startled faces of everybody in the room. Giving Conan, who sat behind the big armchair, a hidden Thumb-up, she moved to stand beside the armchair, hands crossed behind her back.

Shinichi smiled from behind his glasses over at his girlfriend, again surprised of how quickly she mastered her role.

"If I wouldn't have been here, maybe she would have become the Detective of the East.", he fancied, dismissing the thought quickly and concentrating back on his task. Bringing up the bow tie, he started to explain, "The trick is very simple, but that is what makes it so effective. Ran, like the culprit before, simply left through the window and entered again trough the adjacent one.

As his words seeped through to the spectators, they all quickly gathered at the window, everybody stretching their neck, to check if the solution could be really that simple.

"But Mori-kun,", Megure was the first to turn around, a confused expression on his face, "the next window is at least two and a half meters (8 feet) away from this one. There is no way somebody could jump this far from this small ledge."

A smile creeped on Conan's face as he continued the explanation, "I did not speak about a window on this floor inspector. In fact, Ran did not jump at all but climbed up to the roof, entering the skylight to get back into the house. The trick is a simple as grabbing the ledge of the roof, climb up and come back down. Furthermore, this moonless night provided the perfect cover for this stunt, because you would need exceptional eyes to spot a person clad in a dark suit."

"But how can we know who is the culprit? Everybody who came down the stairs could have committed this crime! On top of that, we don't have reliable source to confirm who speaks the truth and who lies.", Megure interjected and Shinichi wondered once again if the bulky inspector had grown too dependent on detectives to solve his cases.

Sighting lightly, disappointed that nobody seemed to understand something this simple, he started again, "Ran. Please explain these gentlemen what the proof is."

"The clothes of the culprit.", Ran declared, still a little shaky from the adrenalin of the fall, but composed enough to not quiver as she spoke, "pricy suits are not designed for something like this, so the murderer's suit would show a lot of wrinkles. Besides, it's very likely that some of the vines, growing at this wall, have left traces of pollen or leaves on his clothing.", the girl concluded, even pausing for a moment before revealing the guilty person, raising the tension dramatically.

"IT WAS YOU!" she finished, pointing straight at a young man in a black suit with a blue tie, who flinched backwards at her words.

"What…!?" the man stammered, but quickly regaining his composure, "What nonsense! Who do you think you are talking too?"

"The culprit, of course!", Ran shoot back, her voice boiling with anger, "Do you even know what you exactly did? You killed a person, took him away from his family, his loved ones. Just think of his wife! Sitting at home, waiting for her husband to come back, wanting to discuss their holyday plans. Or think of his daughter, coming home from school, only finding her mommy crying, not understanding what is happening, not grasping that SHE WILL NEVER SEE HER FATHER SMILE AGAIN!"

The emotional outbreak was far from what everybody expected, of course, they knew how sensible Ran is to those kinds of things, but it still sounded like she talked about herself, even though both her parents were very much alive and rather healthy.

"Maybe, she really never saw her Dad smile like he used to, since her mother left." Conan couldn't help but fancy, quickly shoving the thought away, caging it with all those other questions he wanted to ask Ran, but had to wait for now.

After Ran,s outburst, the murderer didn't put up much of a fight, visibly shaken in his morality by Ran's words and not soon after the police escorted him out of the house in handcuffs. The traces of leaves, along with the piano wire, he had bound around his torso to hide it, were more than enough prove to convict him for years.

"Well Mori-kun, great work as usual.", Megure complimented the now awake detective, who, again, took the credit for the whole case shamlessly.

"Ahh, that was a piece of cake Inspecto, you know how…", he already started to boast, but Megure was quick to interrupt him by speaking up again.

"And thanks to you too, Ran-kun. It seems you're really taking after your dad and Shinichi-kun. Who knows, maybe you will even surpass them both.", the inspector added jokingly.

With flaring cheeks Ran only thanked modestly, "I'm glad I could help, but I don't think I will ever surpass either of them."

Conan wasn't too sure about this. Even though she would probably never catch up to him or FBIs like Akai Shuichi, he wouldn't put it past her to reach the level of other high school detectives like Sera or even Hattori.

But there was no doubt that she had already surpassed the old man!", Conan thought, sending an annoyed glance over at the old man who was marching to their car, signalling them both to follow him.

Conan only sighted, walking after the "renowned detective", but then a hand reached out to hold his and when he looked up, Ran smiled down at him with the loveliest smile he could ever imagine.

"Maybe things aren't as bad, as I think they are.", the shrunken teen thought to himself, "but just because she knows now doesn't mean I can let her wait longer.", he silently vowed, but nontheless confident in the future, because she was by his side.

Together they could achieve everything.

* * *

 _As always all right go to Gosho Aoyama, the original creator of the Detective Conan Universe._

I thank everybody again for reading my story and I really hope it entertained you in some way, even if that is by making you laugh over my poor writing skills.

Hope to entertain you again with my next story and till then,

Farewell


End file.
